Page 36 of Dragon Awakened

"I'm pretty sure you do." Giving her a little space, I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the wall.

She takes her time, finishing up with rinsing out her mouth and putting away her toothbrush. Over in the other room, Jianyu's still reading, but he darts a glance my way, and I'm pretty sure Malik's not entirely asleep anymore.

They let us have a second, though. This whole balancing act, always being together while also trying to find some individual space is a bitch. But I appreciate that they're trying.

Or maybe they're just glad I'm the one bringing this up.

"Look," I say, keeping my tone gentle. "I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I know you want to find your other mate."

"Of course I do," she starts.

I hold up a finger. "But I also think you're dragging your heels, now that it's actually possible for us to. And I'd kind of like to know why."

EMBER

It's the weirdest thing--feeling utterly safe and at the same time, knowing full well that I've been cornered. Rafe's doing everything he can to seem non-threatening. Hell, he's standing there in just his boxers, practically naked. If he weren't so ripped, you could even say he looked vulnerable.

Deep down, his dragon is an apex predator, though, and mine lowers her head inside my chest. We can't run from him. With the strength of our connection, I can't even really evade.

I don't want to.

Because he's got me dead to rights.

"Okay, fine." I rake a hand through my hair before dropping my arms. "I dragged my heels today. Is one extra day really all that much to ask?"

"No," Rafe allows. "But you're still avoiding the question of why you need it."

Where do I begin? "It's just...a lot, okay?"

I shudder, instantly going back to that moment with Rhiannon when she told me to tap into my inner Shadow Dragon.

"Lay it out for me, then," Rafe urges.

I glance at the reflection of the other room in the mirror. Malik's sat up, and Jianyu's put his book down. Neither of them makes any move to approach yet, but they're definitely listening.

That makes me squirm with self-consciousness, but through our bond, their support is a warm wash of reassurance. Even Rafe, who's decided to make me talk about my feelings here, is radiating love.

"I mean." I fiddle with my fingers, dropping my gaze. "It's taking a little work to process the whole being a Shadow Dragon thing." I've had the better part of a week, but somehow, today's events drove it home. "Using Shadow Dragon magic."

"You've been using it from the beginning," Jianyu says quietly, rising to stand.

"I know. But at the time, I had no idea what was going on. It's all so real now."

Malik gets up, too. "You are afraid of who you are."

"Not afraid. Just." I pick at my nail, as if that will buy me time to think. "It's taking me a minute to get my head around."

"I get that," Rafe allows.

Guilt is chewing away at my insides. I promised not to keep things from my mates--not anymore. But I haven't been able to figure out how to explain what happened today.

"I froze up," I admit, forcing myself to just blurt it out. "If Rhiannon hadn't been there, I don't think I could have finished the spell."

Slowly, Jianyu says, "That's why she was there."

I shake my head. "But it was more than that. The whole reality of what I was doing totally freaked me out."

"Does this 'freak you out'?" With swift steps, Malik crosses the room. Standing before me, he reaches for my hand and takes it in his warm, firm grasp.

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