Page 82 of Just Between Us

Levi winces slightly. “Can I ask you a question?” he asks. “The night of the charity gala, did Adam say anything to you?”

Because they don’t want you and I’m trying to save you from the humiliation.

His words ring in my ears, the shame washing over me again like I’ve been transported back to that ornate hallway. I nod once. “Yeah, we spoke a little.” I pause. “Well, it was more of a warning, I guess.”

And as much as I hate that I let him get to me, he was right.

“He only said that because he’s always had a strange obsession with Levi. Seeing you with us—with Levi, pissed him off.”

Oh.

I had assumed Levi and Adam had some sort of history but not this. I was jealous of him, but he was jealous of me all along? The thought throws everything into perspective.

“But I think he was right. I don’t belong in your world and that’s okay with me.”

Well, it was okay with me ten minutes ago before I saw them again.

Levi sighs audibly next to Cole. “Kai, why do you think this started?” He gestures between us.

I lift my brow. “Because we wanted to sleep with each other?”

“Right,” Levi says. “But did you ever at any point feel like it was just us fucking?”

I think about it for a second. We had rules in the beginning. No strings attached. No sleeping over. Communication. Rules that we stuck to for about a week because the lines were increasingly blurred. I was falling for them hard and fast. It stopped being just sex a while ago—at least for me.

My stomach twists again. Shame washes through me because admitting it would mean admitting I didn’t stick to the rules I explicitly said I was okay with. But they are here now, I can say what I couldn’t the night I left.

“At first it did,” I say. “But I don’t know, things changed pretty quickly for me and even though I knew I felt something more, I liked being with you both—being around you.” I take a deep breath, forcing my voice not to shake. “I didn’t end things because of what Adam said, at least not completely. I ended things because I knew I had fallen for you and knowing that was making me feel…” I swallow, meeting their eyes. “That’s why I said I wasn’t happy anymore. I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t apologise for anything. This isn’t on you, Kai,” Levi says softly. “We blurred the lines. I think it’s pretty clear we’d fallen for you too without realising it. I’ve been trying to pinpoint when exactly it stopped being about sex for me, and I think it was when we first had dinner with Cole and that waitress wouldn’t stop trying to get Cole’s attention. I was so into you; I was doing anything to have you around me—us.” He huffs out a laugh.

My brain is short-circuiting. I close my mouth just in case it’s wide open but before I can say anything, Cole leans forward. “Anant’s birthday for me. On the rooftop.”

“Wait,” I say. “That’s all before we even had sex.”

Levi nods. “That’s what we’re trying to say. We both at least liked you and not just physically before the sex. I think we just didn’t realise it and thought we both just wanted to sleep with you, but this last month has shown that it wasn’t that at all.”

I look between them, unable to process what they are saying.

“I know you said we didn’t make you happy and I’m sorry for that, but you were never just a plaything, Kai. Not to us,” Cole says. “I think Levi and I were either too scared or too dumb to realise what was going on and we’re sorry for hurting you.”

My jaw loosens. “What are you saying?”

They meet each other’s eyes. “We want to be with you. Both of us—together, individually,” Cole says easily. “Boyfriends if you will.”

I’m not sure if I’m hearing correctly. “Like the three of us?”

“Yeah, like the three of us.” Levi is smiling.

No way, this must be some sort of sick dream where all the gold in the world is placed in front of you, but you can’t seem to hold on to it.

Adam’s words ring in my ears again and as hard as I’ve tried to ignore them, it’s hard to. As happy as I am with who I am and where I come from, there is still that glaringly obvious difference between me and them.

“But,” I start, “I’m not—I just mean your world is charity galas and mine is normal. I don’t know if I can… What if it doesn’t work out?

As hard as these last few weeks have been without them, I don’t know how I would handle it if we actually dated, and things didn’t work. That would kill me.

“What if it does?” Levi asks.

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