Page 34 of Just Between Us

Despite his carelessness, some things haunted him too—the fact that he’d never live up to his parent's expectations mixed well with my inability to feel good about myself. We made a great miserable pair.

“So,” Anant begins, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.“How is my best friend in the whole wide world doing?”A cloud of condensed air escapes him. It’s February and the air is still icy enough to sting your face.

I laugh, shaking my head and for a moment I consider telling him about Kai but there is a part of me that wants to hold on to it without anyone knowing. I know Anant would never judge but I’m not sure how I’d explain it. This is the last thing I ever thought Cole and I would do. We’ve always been borderline obsessed with each other. I don’t think I’ve found anyone else attractive in the last two and a half years.

I shrug. “Good,” I say easily, deciding to keep it vague. “How did you like your birthday, by the way? Kez did an amazing job as always.”

At the mention of Kez, his brown eyes brighten. It’s hard to believe three years ago he was on first-name bases with D.Js and bouncers in Ibiza.

“Ugh man, I think I had way too many shots which is something I never thought I’d say but I had a good time.” He scrunches up his nose. “Adam was there though which is weird because I’m sure Kez didn’t ask him to come.”

I feel myself go still. Seeing Adam at Anant’s party speaking to Kai bothered me more than I’d care to admit. Of course, he would go for someone like Kai—anyone would—but it still brought on memories I’d rather keep buried in a place I’ll never be able to find again.

I’ve never told Anant about what really happened between him and I. I hardly think it’s necessary, but annoyingly, his name still leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It has been three years, but I still clench my jaw, stamping down the darkness that swirls inside me.

I take a sip of the hot chocolate that’s turning cold at an alarming rate.“Was he?” I ask easily.

He lifts a perfectly threaded dark eyebrow. “Are you ever going to tell me why you hate him so much? One day you two were close and the next it was like you don’t even know the guy.”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s not important.”

Because it isn’t. He could drop dead in the middle of the street, and I wouldn’t give a damn.

Anant looks at me for a long moment. “Look, if you don’t want him around, if he did something fucked up, I can tell everyone to drop him. I don’t care.” He pauses. “Hell, I’d kill him myself if he did something.”

Anant does hold enough social power in this city to do that, but I don’t need him to. I nod resolutely. “I know but it’s fine. Promise.”

He gives me one last long look before downing the rest of his drink. “All right, I’m going to head home. Thanks for the run, mate.”

I give him a mock salute. “Always a pleasure.”

He takes off in the opposite direction and after discarding my cup, I make my way home, taking the long route through the park.

My calf muscles have begun to protest against my pace and the cold, but I focus on my breathing, trying to keep any thoughts of Adam at bay. Only, when I force him out of my mind, Kai pops up.

I’m not naïve enough to not realise that this could be dangerous for both Cole and I, but it seems I want it badly enough to take the risk.

I love, maybe even need the dynamic I have with Cole. I love the way he makes me feel like I am the most important person alive with just one look. I love what he does to me—what I do to him. I love that he silences every dark thought I have, but I’d be lying if I said that the way Kai looked at both of us last night didn’t flip some switch inside me. It made me want things I haven’t wanted in a while and it’s like the old me is rearing his head again, raring to see someone fall apart, to see them beg, to see them cry just for me.

Last night, Kai was willing to do whatever we wanted him to do. Sometimes, when you are having sex with more than one person there can be that initial awkwardness of figuring out where everyone is supposed to be. Yet, it wasn’t like that with Kai. Sharing that with Cole was intoxicating. I want to see just how far we can take it—how far we can take him.

I’m not sure what that means exactly, but maybe I don’t need to overthink this like I do most things. After all, it’s just sex. Cole was always the exception to my patterns, but Kai won’t be, and that means I can enjoy this until I get him out of my system.

I know I will eventually.

I usually do.

Chapter Ten: Cole

The sound of applause rings around the boardroom to mark the start of the construction project for two new residential towers. It’s partly commissioned by the Armas family in conjunction with the Laing Real Estate Group amongst others.

I sit on the Laing side as the executive director for the London office and my brother Nicholas sits on the Armas side as our father’s first son. He gives me a quick wink from across the table as everyone rises from their seats, laughing and patting themselves on the back for a job well done.

I feel someone touch my arm and I resist the urge to openly flinch. I hate being touched by strangers. I look down to find a woman smiling warmly at me, rubbing my back affectionately.

“Amazing work, Cole,” she says. “This is going to be huge for us.”

I return the smile; the charming one I spent years perfecting in the mirror. It comes so naturally now that half the time I believe it’s real. Smiling and laughing with all these people, making sure they are comfortable just like I learnt to do with my family.

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