Page 108 of Just Between Us

He moves my head, making me look up at him and rubs his thumb on my cheek. It’s so gentle and his eyes are so soft, with no hint of the darkness from earlier that I can’t imagine him hurting me.

“Kai,” he starts. “You’re dropping, baby.”

I nod. I know what’s happening and it fucking sucks. “I know. Don’t pay attention to me.” I try to look away, but he holds me in place.

“No, my entire life now is paying attention to you and what you need,” he says firmly. “You’re afraid of giving yourself up completely because you think we won’t like what we see? Kai, you know everything about Cole and I. You know every disturbing detail and yet here you are when many people would have left. There is no version of this story where we will ever let you go. You’re a part of us and that means we will have you completely just as you have us completely.”

I look up at him, my eyes misting over.

I love him.

I love him so much.

I open my mouth to tell him, but I can’t—not yet at least. When Kenny is gone, I can let go completely. I can let them have me.

So, instead, I nod and kiss him quickly. “Can we go to bed?”

Levi looks at me for a second longer, like he knows there is something more than just a sub-drop to this, but he doesn’t push. Instead, he helps me out of the bathtub, and he applies a moisturiser to my face, rubbing soothing circles on my cheeks where he hit me. The area is a bit red, but it won’t welt or bruise.

When we settle in bed and Levi holds me closely, I still feel a little spacey, but my fear still grips me.

I am terrified of losing myself in them and them deciding they don’t want me.

I am terrified of Kenny and what he’s capable of.

For now, Kenny is the only thing I can control, and I have to figure out a way to get rid of him for good before he destroys everything I’ve built.

Chapter Thirty: Levi

It’s the opening of Anant’s family’s new hotel in Mayfair on Saturday night. Photographers line up outside the entrance, ready to snap pictures of any potential celebrities or high society members attending. Anant and Kez snap pictures in front of the billboard but Kai and I avoid the flashing cameras and head straight in.

The party is packed and it’s a chorus of voices and music, clamouring together in the art-deco-inspired refurbished lobby. A few people I haven’t seen in years come up to say hello, many of whom I haven’t seen since I began dating Cole.

Esme, a girl I slept with once, eyes Kai with hungry eyes when she says hello, her hand lingering on his shoulder when he hugs her hello.

“So, are you two dating?” she asks, manicured dark eyebrows lifted.

I pull Kai closer, and she snaps her hand away, meeting my eyes and having the decency to look a little embarrassed. “Oh, I see,” she says. “Well, be careful with this one,” she tells Kai. “He can be a little flighty.” With that she walks away, her dyed blond hair swishing behind her.

“How many of the people who have come up to say hi have you slept with?” Kai asks, a smile dancing on his lips.

Maybe three?

“Don’t slut shame me,” I murmur.

Kai laughs leaning into me before planting a kiss on my lips. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

When Anant and Kez finally manage to escape everyone trying to grab their attention, they come up to us, Anant pulling me into a tight hug. “Ah, mate, thank you for coming,” he says over the music. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

I hug him back just as tightly, happiness and pride swirling through me. “This all looks amazing,” I say. “You did a great job.”

Anant looks around at his work, eyes flashing. “You think so?”

I nod. We met at university, and we would party and do all sorts of drugs together. In many ways, he kept me afloat when I didn’t think I wanted to keep swimming. He’s been my best friend through all of it. I can only hope I’ve been the same for him.

Kez and Kai are stuck in an animated conversation as Anant tells me about an interior designer who flaked on him this morning. I’m listening when I spot Adam in the corner of my eye. He’s speaking to Anant’s mother, and she laughs at something he says. My entire body goes stiff, my fist tightening around my glass as I watch him walk away, disappearing into the crowd.

Next to me, Kai bumps my shoulder lightly. “Are you okay?” he asks, following my gaze.

---