Page 78 of Just Between Us

Just then, I hear the front door open, and a voice calls my name. Somehow, my heart drops and leaps at the same time. The door opens and he appears, a small smile lighting up his face.

“Cole?” he calls. “Are you home?”

Levi.

Levi looks different and yet the same. He got a haircut but it’s still long enough that some of it flops over his forehead in shaggy dark wisps. He’s a little gaunt but other than that he looks like Levi—my Levi. For the last two weeks, I’ve been terrified he wouldn’t come back, that I would never have him this close again.

Looking at him feels like seeing an oasis in the desert. Relief and apprehension all at the same time—like he might be a mirage and if I get too close, he will disappear.

I stare at him from across the room, leaning against the windowsill.We’re alone. Daniel is gone and Aleeta isn’t around today. He looks around our bedroom, like he’s remembering every memory we have in here then he laughs quietly, meeting my eyes. “Do you want to go first, or do you want me to?”

“I can go first.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

It’s strange to say out loud, and it almost sounds ridiculous, but I don’t miss a detail; I tell him about the shed Nick locked me in, I tell him about Socks, and the fire I barely remember.

“My nanny helped me to get out of the house and all I could hear were sirens and screaming. There was so much smoke, so many people.” I pause. “Everyone thought I’d done it because Nick and his friend told the police that I did but I couldn’t remember a thing. I always thought I blacked out or something, but it was Nick all along. Charlie says it was an accident but I’m not so sure. Maybe he wanted me to burn in there.”

Levi’s eyes are filled with horror but also anger. I hate talking about this, but I don’t stop. If we’re going to work, I need to be honest. So, I tell him about the day my father took me to that warehouse and asked us to kill those men. The way my father had looked at me, like the biggest disappointment he’d ever seen.

A lone tear slips down his cheek, and he quickly swipes it away, but I can tell that for the first time, outside of Kez and my grandparents, someone else believes me.

Levi believes me.

I never wanted to hurt my family. I might lack some important emotional switch inside me, but I never wanted that, and I never did it.

“I didn’t cheat on you either and I never hurt her.”

He nods quickly. “I knew that the moment you told me,” he says. “I didn’t leave because I thought you would hurt me or something, Cole. I left because I felt like I finally knew the truth and I had to be honest with you too, but I knew I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t being honest with myself.”

“The weekend I met you know I’d just left the hospital and left my last job. You know what happened with Adam too. I think I just fell into you and never really bothered to explore what was actually going on inside me. Back then, when I couldn’t switch off, I’d just get drunk and party. It was destructive and I know now that if I hadn’t almost drowned in that pool and met you, I probably wouldn’t be here today. You saved me, Cole,” he says quietly.

“But you shouldn’t have to. I can’t put that all on you. I know that because the moment I believed something was wrong between us I felt myself fall apart. I’ve been going to therapy every day since which is why I didn’t come back so quickly. It’s made me realise that I’ve been so dependent on you, and it wasn’t healthy. We met each other when I was in a bad space, and I realise now that maybe I made you become something you weren’t because of it. I’m—I’m sorry.”

I’m shaking my head quickly as I go over to place a hand on Levi’s cheek. He’s looking down at his hands and I have to move him to make him look at me. Tears dance in his eyes, and I want to kiss them away.

“You don’t have to apologise for anything, Evie. Everything I am today is because of you. You made me believe there was something good about me when most people didn’t. You’re my Northern Star, Levi. You centre me. In complete chaos you make sense. You’re my constant, there is no version of this life that I could survive without you next to me.” I kiss his lips gently and feel him melt against me. “Please don’t ever apologise again.”

He nods quickly and my own eyes mist over, but I swallow down the tears. I know there are things both of us need to figure out together and separately but now Levi knows the truth and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

“You’re my centre too, you know?” Levi says quietly.

I nod against him, our foreheads touching. His scent fills my nose, and it takes everything inside me not to nuzzle him.

“We’re both a little fucked up, aren’t we?” he huffs out a laugh.

I ball his t-shirt in my fist. “I like that we’re a little fucked up,” I say before kissing him again. This time it’s slow. I taste Levi’s tears on my tongue as he moves against me. A jolt of electricity rushes through me. It’s probably what it feels like to be brought back to life.

“I missed you so much. I could barely breathe without you.”

“Does this mean I can stay?” Levi looks at me, eyes glinting with humour.

“Always,” I kiss him again. “I want you here forever.”

And so, we kiss again. It’s gentle and slow, not like us at all but it’s nice. We fall on the bed and Levi giggles against my mouth, his hands raking through my hair. Fire ignites on every part of my skin, but no clothes come off. We just make out, like we are relearning each other. It’s torturous and sweet all at the same time and when it feels like we’ve gotten our fill, Levi slots perfectly into my arms and lies on my chest.

“Does this also mean you’ll stop stalking me?” he whispers. My eyes widen and he laughs. “I know how you work, baby.”

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