Page 98 of Hate to Love You

When she doesn’t answer, I glance over and squeeze her fingers. “Natalie?” She seems lost in her own world lately. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something weighing on her mind that she’s not telling me about.

As soon as I say her name, she jolts to attention. “Sorry.” She gives me an apologetic smile that barely lifts her lips. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Do you want to grab lunch?” I glance at my phone. “We’ve got time to hit La Fuente.”

“Oh.” She shakes her head. “I’m not really hungry. But we can go if you want.”

I know how much she loves that place, so I’m a little surprised she isn’t jumping at the chance to go. I jerk my shoulders. “Nah, I’ll just grab something at your place. It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay.” She smiles again, but it’s distracted. Like she’s not fully here with me, and I hate it.

Once we reach the truck, I open the passenger side door and she slides in. I hustle around to the other side. As I start the engine and pull out of the parking lot, I glance over at Natalie. She’s staring out the side window. Even though her face is tilted away from me, I’m able to glimpse the sadness in her eyes.

“Hey.” I reach over and slip her hand into mine. I love touching her. I’m addicted to the constant contact and the connection between us. “What’s going on?” I ask because it’s obvious that something’s bothering her.

She stares down at our clasped hands for a beat before raising her eyes to mine. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind with school.”

I nod, understanding the pressure she’s under. I feel it myself. Senior year is stressful, and I know Natalie isn’t sure where she’ll end up or who she’ll be working for. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shrugs and says, “Not really. It won’t help.”

Her odd response makes my brows tug together. I pull up in front of her apartment building and cut the engine. Even though it’s the last thing I want, I ask, “Do you need some time to yourself? Would that help?” Maybe I’m crowding her. All this relationship stuff is new to me. I’m trying to figure it out as I go and strike a happy balance.

Natalie isn’t one of those clingy girls who wants to glom on to you and never let go. That’s one of the things I like about her. So, the last thing I want is for her to feel like I’m doing the same thing. Although, if I had my way, I’d be with her all the time. When we’re together, I feel like I can finally breathe. Like I can be myself. She’s one of the few people who see me for who I really am.

I don’t want to lose that. So, if she needs me to back off a little, I will. I may not want to, but I’ll do it anyway.

Natalie shakes her head, and I release the pent-up breath that has become trapped in my lungs.

Thank fuck.

I don’t want to leave her. The time we spend together is precious.

A few minutes later, she opens the door to her apartment. Since we’re greeted by silence, I’m guessing that Zara is at class or out with Luke. Now, those two are attached at the hip. Although, it’s not like I can give Luke shit about it. Not when I feel much the same way.

Natalie sets her bag down on the kitchen table. I’m not sure how to play this. Do I push for more information or do I back off and pretend everything is normal?

Before I can make a decision, she wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight. I hold her against my body, and somehow her grip becomes even more constricting. This is the kind of hug you give someone at the airport before they leave the continent for a year.

I shake off the weird feeling that settles over me and laugh. “Hey, what’s going on?”

She tips her head back and smiles. But again, there’s something off about it. Almost as if the edges are tinged with sadness. I’m not sure what to make of it. If there’s a problem, I wish she’d just put it out there. I’d much rather deal with an issue head-on than get blindsided by it down the road.

Instead of answering, she steps out of my embrace and pulls me toward the bedroom. Her eyes stay fastened to mine as she pushes me onto the bed and pulls at my shirt. Once that has been thrown to the floor, she starts on the button of my khakis.

Even though I love where this is headed, I lay my hand over her fingers, stilling their frantic movement. “Natalie?”

Her eyes lift.

“What’s going on?” I rack my brain for an answer since she seems unwilling to give me one. “Did something happen with your dad?” I’m grasping at straws here. I need her to throw me a lifeline.

She shakes her head. “Everything’s fine. I just want to be with you.”

Whatever she’s selling, I’m not buying. My gut tells me something’s up, but I have no idea what. It’s starting to drive me crazy.

Flicking open the button, she slides the zipper down until she can slip her hand inside my boxers.

All right…if she’s trying to distract me from asking any more questions, she’s doing a damn fine job of it. As soon as she wraps her fingers around me, I groan and recline against the bed, resting on my elbows to give her greater access.

---