Page 110 of Sweet Madness

One kid is away with a man I’ll never fully trust, another made a dumb mistake that resulted in a creep stalking our family, and now this.

For fuck’s sake.

Past mistakes have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass.

Space Note

“Did you know stars can die? How? They run out of fuel.”— E

Chapter

Thirty

LITTLE WHITE LIES

Shaw

“Coward is the man who doesn’t fight for love. Love is worth every scar.” – S

It’s been raining for three days straight, making it impossible to get much done around the ranch. I manage to care for the cattle and horses with Ella’s help, but I have to put off repairing some of the stables and fences until the ground dries.

It’s as if the sky mirrors my mood—dark, cold, and sad.

Since yesterday’s call with Ella’s father, I haven’t been able to think straight. My mind keeps circling around the thought of losing her. Fuck, pretending to be okay when I’m not used to come so naturally, but now it’s killing me inside to put on a fucking smile for her. But I do it regardless.

Losing Ma should have taught me that there are no real “happily ever afters,” yet I still let myself believe in them. Now it’s all coming to an end, and I don’t know what else to do but to let go.

Letting go has never felt so fucking painful.

Because how do I let go of someone who’s become such a vital part of me? How do you move on without your heart?

I’ve done it before, but this time feels different. It feels like I won’t be able to survive it. Survive her.

“Fuck,” I snap, pain spreading through my chest at the thought of Ella walking out of my life.

A soft whimper makes me pause. Glancing down, I see Poppy at my feet, her curious eyes fixed on me. “Looks like I’m losing her, rug rat,” I say with a heavy sigh, my voice rough and laced with sadness.

The baby goat nuzzles my feet, as if trying to comfort me. Damn it, even the goat seems to worm her way into my heart.

I bend down and gently pet her head, careful not to mess up her bow. “You’re not so bad.”

“Baaa.”

I chuckle as she turns and walks away, clearly done with me.

I grab a towel from the bed after finishing my shower, and dry my hair while descending the stairs in sweatpants and a snug shirt. By the time I reach the bottom, the enticing aroma of food from the kitchen makes my stomach grumble. My heart tightens at the thought of Ella cooking for me.

Since she’s been here, I’ve cooked most of our meals since she’s not a very good cook beyond desserts. But I have to admit, she makes one hell of a breakfast.

As I enter the kitchen, my eyes fall upon a heart-shaped arrangement of pizzas on the island, loaded with all types of cheeses and meats. There are slices with chicken, ham, bacon, and pepperoni. Candles flicker gently, casting a soft glow over the room, and a vase filled with fresh tulips sits in the middle. No doubt she picked those herself from the fields like last time.

“What’s this?” I grumble as I step further into the kitchen.

Ella looks up from where she sits at the table, beaming with happiness at the sight of me. Fuck, she’s so beautiful—so fucking sweet.

I take in her appearance, marveling at how stunning she looks. She wears one of the dresses I got for her when I took her shopping—the lavender one that hugs her waist perfectly and makes her look like royalty from another era. Her curls are loose, pushed back from her face with a matching lavender bow. With subtle makeup, just a hint of mascara and gloss on her lips, she looks both pretty and tempting.

So, her.

---