Page 121 of Sweet Madness

Moonshine.

He really is standing there, his brown eyes locked onto mine with emotions swirling in them that mirror my own. The air between us crackles with unspoken words and months of longing and regret.

I can’t deny the wild fluttering of my heart and the rush of love and pain mingling within my chest at seeing him here, surrounded by all my dreams come to life. Despite the hurt and the months apart, he is still the dream I treasure most.

“What are you doing here?” I manage to ask as I hold tighter to the window frame, trying not to fall. My heart beats faster, barely beating at all these past few months, as Shaw walks closer to where I stand.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

Is this really happening, heart?

Is there still a chance for our love to bloom anew?

I try to calm my racing heart as he approaches with a determined stride. His beautiful brown eyes, once guarded and distant, now shine brightly. The last time I saw him, he was distant, and his eyes were cold, but that’s not the man standing in front of me now.

Shaw stops in front of me, close enough that I can feel his warmth and the faint scent of his cologne. Oh, how I missed his warmth when all I’ve felt lately is cold.

“I’m here to get the color back into my life,” he whispers huskily. Then he looks down at something in his hands. Following his gaze, I notice he’s holding a slightly lopsided box. Inside are homemade chocolate cupcakes adorned with colorful hearts and streaks of pink frosting. “They’re messed up,” he admits with a sheepish grin, offering me the box. “But trust me, each one’s made with love. Mad, mad love, baby.”

Mad, mad love.

My heart flutters as I take the box from him with shaky hands, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I... I can’t believe you’re here,” I whisper, still afraid this is all a dream and he isn’t really here.

Although he seems confident, I can see the nerves betraying him. “Couldn’t miss the grand opening of your universe, could I?” His voice is soft, filled with the tenderness that always makes my knees weak. “Besides, I couldn’t do it anymore, cupcake.” He croaks out.

“Do what?” I am almost afraid to ask.

I look into his eyes and see the constellations we once admired together reflected in them—tiny sparks of love and hope. “Spend another day without you. I thought I could do it, but I was slowly dying inside, Ella.”

His words hit me like a flood of love and heartbreak all at once.

When words fail me, he extends his hand and gives me what looks like a matte pink plaque. Putting the cupcakes down on a nearby table, I take the plaque and see a silver moon adorned with delicate sparkles. I look down at it in awe of how beautiful it is. “I wanted you to have this,” he says softly.

“What is it?”

“Look closely.”

I run my fingers over the smooth surface of the plaque. The moon phases are intricately etched around the silver moon at the center. Beneath it, in elegant script, are the words: “This is what the moon looked like the day you were born.”

My breath catches in my throat as I absorb the meaning behind his sweet gesture. Tears well up in my eyes as I trace my birth date engraved on the plaque.

I notice another date below my birthdate. “What does this one mean?”

Shaw leans forward, towering over me, and traces the second date while I hold my breath, focusing on the way my heart races at his proximity. “This date marks the day I realized I loved you.”

“I... I don’t know what to say,” I manage to whisper, my voice trembling with emotion.

“I’m sorry,” he begins, his voice tinged with sadness and regret. “I was stupid to let you go. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I convinced myself that you needed a life filled with adventure and glamor—a life where you traveled the world and experienced things I couldn’t give you. I convinced myself that you should have a chance to be young and find yourself. But the truth is, although I wanted all that for you, that wasn’t the only reason why I let you go.” Shaw reaches forward and brushes a loose curl from my face with a sad smile. “The main reason is that I was scared, Ella. I loved my mother to death and look at how that ended. She left me, and I was never the same until you. You, cupcake, have the power to annihilate me with a single glance. Imagine what it would do to me if you ever woke up on my ranch and realized that you weren’t happy with that life and that it wasn’t enough. But I realized, with a little help,” he glances behind me toward my mother and then back at me, “that I can’t live without you. A life without you, Ella Kenton, is no kind of life. I don’t want to be the man who grieves your love. I want to be the man you come home to. The man who puts a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly. I want to be the man who paints the world pink for you, just like you do for me, baby.” More tears fall from my eyes, and he wipes them away as I search his gaze for sincerity.

“I missed you,” he continues, his voice wavering slightly. “I miss your smiles, your laughter, your magic. You bring life and color to my dull world, princess. I need you to color my world pink again.” His words echo the longing I have buried deep within, the ache of missing him despite the hurt he caused my heart.

Without a word, I reach out and place my hand on his, feeling the warmth of his skin against my own. I take a deep breath, steadying myself as I look into his eyes. “You hurt me,” I begin, my voice trembling. “You gave up on us, on me. Walking away from you shattered me. All because you made the decision for me. You decided this life is what I wanted—what I needed. When all I wanted was a life with you in that perfect little town where I was the happiest. That’s all I wanted, and you took it away.”

Shaw’s eyes look so sad, his expression filled with remorse. “Baby…” he replies softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I was a fool and I was wrong. I know I fucked up and made the worst mistake of my life by pushing you away as soon as you walked out of my door. But you have to know, Ella, that not a day goes by that I don’t miss you or wish I could turn back time. It took everything from me not to get on a plane and come find you. Because you, Ella, are the beat of my heart. You are the reason I wake up every morning, wanting to be better, and now I stand here hoping for another chance to make things right, to show you just how fucking much I love you.”

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