Page 99 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

His eyes turn softer.

Catching me off guard, he grasped my chin, angling my face up to him then kissed me hard, his tongue sliding into my mouth. It felt like my stomach was being invaded by a kaleidoscope of butterflies. I let go of the pole, sliding my hands up his chest. I held onto him instead. He won’t let me fall. After a long and sweet kiss, he pulls back to look into my eyes.

“I don’t know what love is, Vi. Not without pain at least.” I tell him truthfully.

He moves his face closer to mine until our noses almost touch. His face is passive while his eyes are shining. He’s smiling with his eyes. “That’s simple. Love is you, kotyonok.”

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

He was full of surprises, and with each layer of himself he revealed, I fell just a little bit harder.

I’ve been falling ever since I first met him.

And as the carousel takes us round and round while colorful lights shine all around us, we hold onto each other and don’t let go.

Not even after the ride is over and Vitali is clasping my hand in his and making lazy circles on my inner wrist with the pad of his thumb, sending delicious shivers up and down my spine as he leads the way.

My heart beats loud and strong just like every time he’s near.

“Look up, Moya dusha.” I tip my head back and look up at the stars reeling in the sky. Tonight, the sky is full of them and they look close enough to reach up and touch. But I know better. They have always been impossibly far from my reach.

“How about we wish on a star?” he asked, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiled.

“You want to wish on a… star?” I can’t help the incredulous smile that takes over my face.

“What?” He laughs. “Come on, humor me.”

“There’s no point” My gaze settled on him. He was watching the stars, his head leaning back. His eyes snap back to mine. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged one shoulder, my eyes now on the sky. “Hate to break it to you but stars don’t grant wishes, Russian.”

“What about birthday candles?” I feel his eyes on my face but I don’t dare look at him now. “How about when you blew out your birthday candles? Did you make a wish then?”

“Nope. Never had a birthday cake.”

Silence greets me.

Forcing myself to look away from the sky and meet Vitali’s now angry gaze, I whisper. “I don’t miss what I never had.” I lie through my teeth not wanting to put a damper on the night. It’s been pretty magical thus far. I don’t want to ruin it by talking about painful things from the past.

“I am looking forward to the day you end his life.”

“What?”

He squeezed my hand. “Your cunt of a father. I can’t wait for the moment you finally end his life.” He says harshly, catching me off guard.

“Vitali...”

“I’m so fucking sorry, love. You deserve better. So much fucking better than what life dealt you.” He brings his face closer and kisses the tip of my nose before dropping a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll make wishes for the both of us.” His lips curved into a half-smile.

In the moonlight, his edges looked sharper, his hair darker and skin paler. So handsome. So mine.

Vitali smooths his gloved hand over my furrowed brow and brushes my hair off my cheek, then his hand glides to the back of my head, angling it toward him. Our mouths collide suddenly. Our kiss is hungry and filled with need and want. The tantalizing promise of more.

We kissed until our lips were raw and swollen. I kissed him like a junkie who needed a fix. My crazy heart changed its tempo, beating in time with his. The clock might be ticking against me but all I could think about was chasing this heady, intoxicating feeling where everything felt so right.

---