Page 79 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

Vitali’s eyes are the kind of eyes that see right through you, that make you want to back down and look away for fear of having every dirty little secret you’d ever kept hidden, discovered.

And I think of this feeling in my chest whenever he looks at me. This feeling he gave me… I don’t ever want to lose it.

“Tell me something, love,” he says in a Russian accent while he grins, accentuating the scar slicing across his full upper lip.

“What?” I hold his gaze, feeling a million things all at once.

“When you look into the future, what do you see?”

You.

Azariel.

My sisters.

Love.

That’s all I see when I think of the future. Before all I saw, all I craved was peace. The kind of peace that we only find when we’re dead. I don’t see that anymore. I only see a kaleidoscope of colors. Stormy days. Laughter. I see the future everyone hopes for but only a few get to experience.

“Umm,” I breathe, and his grin widens.

Not knowing how to answer, because the words get stuck in my throat I just look up at him and hope he sees. He sees all my lips won’t say.

“Let me tell you what I see.” He inches closer until his nose touches the tip of mine. My breath hitches and I can’t help but raise my gloved hands and touch his chest where his heart is beating strongly. I didn’t know if I was pushing him away or pulling him closer. All I know is that this close I can’t think straight.

“What do you see?” I asked, looking into his eyes. They are shining like diamonds.

“You.” His voice is strong and thick with that Russian accent that makes my heart skip and my toes curl.

The second the word falls from his lips, I close my eyes and a feeling much like the one I’ve been chasing all my life, serenity washes over me.

“You don’t know what you’re asking, Russian.” I feel the coldness of his gloves on my cheek and suddenly it doesn’t feel so cold. Electricity courses through me at his touch. Opening my eyes, I hold his gaze. His determined, mine conflicted. “I don’t want to feel. Not again.”

“Why?”

“Because the moment I open that door…” I close my eyes, take a deep breath and a tear falls from my eye. “All that pain. All that hurt will surely kill me.” I whisper brokenly, not caring if this man thinks of me as weak. Tonight, I don’t want to be strong.

My eyes fly open when I feel him wiping the tears from my face gently like you would never expect from someone who looks like him. “It won’t and if it hurts I’ll take it from you. I’ll gladly take it all.”

My mouth twitches, just slightly. “Life doesn’t work like that.”

“With us it does.” He says it so fiercely I almost believe him.

Us.

How sweet those words sound coming from him.

A sudden wave of need crashes into me as I stare into his eyes, his hot breath on my face and his strong heartbeat on my palm. We stand there looking at one another, our mouths not moving but our eyes saying a million things.

His eyes are heavy with want as he looks down at me as if he can see every thought playing out in my mind.

I don’t fully understand what comes over me when I grip him by the back of the neck and hold him there as I lift my mouth to meet his. The moment our lips touch my entire body buzzes with a need I never experienced before at least not with anyone but him.

The kiss is soft, nothing sensual.

It’s… intimate.

Pulling away, I look at his face surprisingly not feeling embarrassed at all like I thought I would feel.

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