Page 53 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

The smile that I love and equally hate because it makes me wish for things that are not in the cards for me. Not in this lifetime.

Dammit, Russian.

Swallowing hard, I start to look away from him before both my brain and my heart betray me but then I feel something cold on my nose. Something that feels a whole lot like dirt.

The brute poked the tip of my nose and then leaned back smiling at what he just did.

I have dirt on my face.

Normally I would’ve caught his hand before it got anywhere near my face but for some unforeseen reason, I don’t. I don’t sass him. I don’t cuss his ass out. I just sit there as my brain haywires and the organ in my chest beats wildly like it hasn’t in a long time.

Then Azariel moves his head trying to get a peek and when he sees the mess on my face something that feels a lot like magic happens.

He smiles.

He smiles so wide I’m taken off guard again.

Something cracks in my chest as I tilt my head and look at that sweet smile. My own lips twitch as if his smile is contagious.

It is.

“What?” I try to sound bored but we all know I sound anything but.

“You’re smiling.” He points his small finger at my face.

“Well, look at that, malen’kiy, korol, she is.” The Russian smiles wide and his eyes light up as he looks between Azariel and me as if he’s saving both our smiles in his memory. But that can’t be. Can it?

Thump.

Thump.

My heart beats strongly at this moment just as the sky above us splits with lighting and booms with thunder.

Looking away from both of them, I look up at the sky which is now the same color as both their eyes. My favorite stormy gray.

“As much as I would like to stay here forever. We have somewhere we need to be.” Vitali looks up at the sky and then his gaze connects with mine.

I frown. “Where do we need to be?” I asked and soon after rain began to fall, pouring on the three of us. Quickly rising to my feet, I help Azariel up and gently push him toward the mansion’s back entrance. “Go inside. Take those clothes off and dry yourself before you get sick, okay?”

I touch his cheek gently, unable to help myself. Me and my damn impulses. Azariel looks at me as if he too can’t believe I just did that but then does as I say and leaves.

Blowing out a deep breath, I think to myself just how reckless that was and yet I don’t regret it. How long has he gone without a gentle touch? A touch that doesn’t hurt.

If he ever had it that’s it.

“He reminds me of you.” Vitali’s deep voice makes me turn to find him there soaking wet looking at me in ways that make butterflies invade my stomach but, in this case, erratic bats would be more fitting.

Huh, you made a little joke. Good girl. The obnoxious voice on the back of my head muses.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to ignore his observation. I can’t take a walk down memory lane right now when it feels like every wall around my heart is crumbling down and soon there won’t be any left to guard what’s left of my heart.

“I’ll clean up and meet you outside in twenty.” I turn away from him and leave him there knowing that he won’t stop.

The Russian won’t stop until he gets what he wants and something tells me that what he wants is me.

Stupid, stupid, beautiful Russian… if only you knew how fast the clock is ticking and soon the time will run out.

Maybe in another life… but isn’t that just tragic?

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