Page 48 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

The sky is clear tonight and I’m able to see the stars and moon shine so brightly.

Here, outside in the dark and away from both of them I’m able to think clearly.

Placing the case on the cement next to me, I hold the cello closer to my body, close my eyes, and take a deep breath before I let my fingers caress the chords, letting the music drown out the noise.

The voices.

The screams.

My cries.

Sometimes the music and the rain make everything go away even if it’s only for a little while.

The wind gently caresses my skin and blows my hair as I play without worry of waking anyone. They won’t be able to hear me playing from here. Not at this hour while everyone else is asleep.

There’s something about midnight that brings to the forefront of my mind all the memories I try my hardest to forget. It was so simple before. Before all that lived inside me was resentment and anger. But in a couple of days, the walls I’ve built in years around my heart are slowly crumbling down all around me and I’m hopeless to stop it. Now I find myself thinking relentlessly about the future instead of holding onto the past.

I should be putting all my energy into finding the trafficking ring that the scum Beauregard is running in my city and ending his family’s reign of terror but instead here I lie awake while my thoughts haunt me. But it doesn’t really seem like haunting. Is this what dreaming is? I wonder.

To me, hatred came more easily than love.

But now?

Now, I just don’t know.

Love doesn’t seem so hard.

Not with them.

Vitali

“Well, that was fun,” I say dryly while looking down at my bloodstained shirt then looking at Grim as he climbs out of the black Bentley SUV we borrowed from Kadra for tonight.

You’re a sick fuck, boss. You know that? Grim signs.

“I do.” I take a cigarette out, place it between my lips and light it. Taking a long drag, I look up at the sky and blow the smoke upwards. There’s something about midnight torture sessions that lights a fire in my soul. Perhaps, it’s the fact that the cockroach I caught got me a step closer to the motherfuckers running the largest trafficking ring in the States. After the youngest Beauregard there’s no doubt the fuckers were alarmed and are taking extra precautions to stay hidden. There’s no use, though. We know the names and it’s just a matter of time before they start taking each other out to save themselves before we get to them.

My brother, Vladimir, taught me once that for an empire to fall you need to start by taking out its backbone. In this case it’s the lowlife pimps that deceive the kids and sell them to the highest bidder. That’s what I did tonight.

I torture the fucker until he sang like a pretty little fucked up bird before I cut off his cock and made him choke on it. When I grew tired, I slashed his throat and it was over. His useless life ended there and he won’t ever hurt anyone else. Now onto the next. I won’t stop until I get them all.

A tap on my shoulder makes me turn and look at Grim as he moves his hands in front of me communicating his thoughts. Grim is one scary-looking motherfucker with his tattooed head and permanent scowl on his face but deep down he’s a good man. A man that life dealt a bad hand but instead of letting his misfortunes get the best of him he rose above it and now he’s here. He’s the right-hand man of the Bratva’s second in command.

He also can speak but he chooses not to.

We’ve known each other for almost fifteen years now and never once has he utter a word but that doesn’t stop the asshole from prying and sticking his nose in my business.

Was tonight for Mikhail or for her?

“For both of them.” I look up at the mansion and wonder if she found sleep and if not, what is she up to? I wonder many things and not knowing it fucks with my head. Obsessions are deadly and Kadra Parisi has proven to be the deadliest. Looking away from the window that I know for a fact is hers, I give Grim my full attention. “For the boy too.”

Grim nods in understanding. They’re beautiful. He signs. You’re one lucky fucker.

I smile at that. “Fuck, yes, they are. The most beautiful.”

You have your work cut out in front of you with that woman. She gave me the creeps and that’s saying something since you’re one scary fuck.

“Don’t be a baby. She’s a fucking delight.” I wave him off as if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

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