Page 29 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

Good boy.

“Don’t you think this one looks better, sweetheart?” The saleswoman towers over Azariel crowding him with questions. I see the moment Azariel hesitates, clearly uncomfortable. That’s when I step in. My father would’ve let me get berated or influenced by others but not me. Not Azariel. I stride towards where they’re both standing and stand behind Azariel giving the saleswoman all my attention. “I believe he told you his favorite color is black.” I gently grab the pieces of clothing Azariel is holding and hand them to her. Then I gave her my black card. “I’m not paying for you to give your opinion. I’m paying for you to get him what he asks for. So please do that and ring this up. We’re done here.” The woman, I believe introduced herself earlier as Brenna, opened her mouth and closed it making her look like a fish out of water. Her eyes slightly narrowed, clearly in annoyance. Oh, well.

Look, I get it. I might come off as rude but the woman has been giving her unsolicited opinion since we arrived at the store and I tried to play nice until she made him hesitate and I won’t have that. I need him to be strong and I need him to always stand his ground.

That’s the only way he’ll survive this world.

My world.

“Sure, Miss Parisi,” Brenna says haughtily before turning around and going back to the counter.

“Lesson number one,” I look down at Azariel. “No one else gets to tell you how to act, feel, or think.” He doesn’t say a word but he doesn’t need to. His eyes tell me all I need to know. He understands.

“Crow,” I turn my head towards my second in command who’s been eyeing one of the salesgirls who’s been making googly eyes at him since we walked in the door.

His eyes leave the girl and fall on me. “Yes?”

“Grab the bags and let’s go,” I ordered.

Crow doesn’t need to be told twice. He nods once and does as he is told.

Then I look at Azariel who has his eyes trained on something behind me. Turning, I look in the direction he’s looking to find a mother and son walking hand in hand outside the store. The mother looks like everything I’m not. Warm, happy, and welcoming. While the boy looks nothing like my little heir. The brat looks like he talks too much and is happy all the time. Nothing like Azariel.

The hole in my chest where my heart used to be, aches when I think about what could’ve been for me if life had brought me to my knees that ugly night and how different it would also have been for Azariel if he had a loving and happy mother like the one outside.

My head is a mess every time I let myself feel when I’m with this kid.

Ignoring the sweet scene outside, I turn to look at Azariel. “Azariel.”

His face slowly turns to me and his eyes find mine. “Yes?”

Softening my tone, I ask. “What would you like to do next?”

The boy looks up at me with a look of surprise on his face but it doesn’t last for long. He doesn’t say. He doesn’t speak much about this one. I thought I would love this side of him because I don’t care much for people who try to make me engage in useless conversation but with this kid I find myself wanting to hear him speak. I want to know what goes through his mind. For some reason, I want to know all the secrets he holds close to his heart.

Sighing, I ask, “Do you like video games?”

He thinks about it for a second. “Not really,” he whispers.

This won’t be easy, I see.

I tilted my head and tried again. “What do you like then?”

“I like numbers.” he doesn’t hesitate to say. “The numbers make the nightmares go away.” His gray eyes flash with pain and a darkness that mirrors my own.

And right there I feel something I never felt for anyone other than my sisters. I feel the overwhelming need to burn the world that failed this kid down to the ground at his tiny little feet.

Soon I will.

Soon everyone who ever made him feel like he was worthless and put demons in those perfect gray eyes will bleed for their sins against him.

“Where to now, boss?” Crow nears us carrying a dozen bags in his large hands.

I give Azariel one long look before I turn and walk out the door. “Now we go get him his numbers.”

And that’s what we do.

The rest of the day we spent buying everything he needed and all I thought he would enjoy and I don’t hold back.

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