Page 109 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

We all stand and watch her get lost in the memories and melodies.

The serene expression on her face makes my chest ache. That’s how I know that I did something good.

I had never done the whole dating thing. The first time I had sex, I was thirteen. She was in her mid-twenties. Alexandria. She was one of Papa’s favorite whores to play with. She was young, pretty, and had delusions of becoming my father’s second wife. It was just fucking. No kissing. No intimacy or sweet words were required. Afterward, she did a hit of cocaine, winked, and said, “Thanks. Same time tomorrow?” Fucked up? Maybe. But I was a growing boy who discovered just how good pussy was and any pussy would’ve done it back then. They meant nothing. They never did. They were just a way to pass the time and silence the demons of my past.

Until her.

Does that make me a bad man? Perhaps but an honest one.

In my teenage years, I had a reputation in the streets. I was the second son of the Pakhan. The one who could get you the best drugs and leave you bleeding all over the leather interior of your pretty fucking expensive Bentley after I fucked up your face all in the name of the Solonik family. All in the name of New York. That was the kid every woman had wanted. A taste of the forbidden. I was the guy they fucked until someone suitable came along. But Kadra… She is different.

To her, I am the man who makes her smile.

The one who makes her days a little less dark.

I don’t take that lightly.

Protecting and loving her it’s the fucking honor of my life.

I was so busy in my head and lost in the spell she put me under that I didn’t notice when the song ended. My beautiful girl rises from the chair with her cheeks all sweet and pink and her eyes glossy. Fuck, so beautiful. So mine.

I suddenly find it impossible to catch my next breath as she steps down the small stairs and walks my way. The world ceases to exist as she strolls my way in a satin white dress that shows a whole lot of legs. The wind blows her hair softly and all I can think about is just how stunning she looks under the moonlight.

Mine.

The world flashes through my mind.

She drops down to Azariel’s level and kisses the top of his head so sweetly then she taps his nose and the organ in my chest clenches while looking at the two of them interact. Azariel might not be an expressive kid but he does try. He gives Kadra a small smile. A smile that makes my heart ache.

It doesn’t escape how alike they are.

An image of a little girl with dark hair and brown eyes pops into my head leaving me breathless. A little girl who looks just like the woman currently looking into my eyes as if she could see the deepest and darkest part of my soul. I don’t doubt she can.

If anyone could get there it’s her.

It would be my sweet angel.

A little girl.

A mini-Kadra.

The image is clear in my head and it makes me wonder how Kadra would look heavy with my baby. Fuck. The ache in my chest grows stronger.

One day… I tell myself. One day she’ll have my ring on her finger and my baby in her belly.

Azariel, growing bored, leaves my side and walks towards Crow who has now taken Kadra’s chair and is doing a horrible job at playing the cello while Vernon stands back without saying a word. He’s just quietly observing. I wonder if he too thinks his friend is a fucking nut job.

Kadra clears her throat, grabbing my attention. My eyes meet hers and I’m taken aback when I detect a hint of shyness. My fiery and sassy woman drives me wild but her sweet side has me addicted. I won’t ever get enough. Stepping closer, I grab her waist and pull her closer until her chest is pressed against mine. Her eyes grow big as if I surprised her.

“You were incredible, love,” I whisper close to her mouth, loving how her breath hitches. Oh, yes she feels it too.

“You think so?” She ducks her head self-consciously. So sweet. Goddammit.

My Kadra reminds me of the night. Dark and beautiful. I’ve always preferred the night over the day. The storms over the sunny day. It’s just the way I’m wired.

I also know that everything is more beautiful in the dark, that’s when they shine the brightest. That is why our story is so poetic.

I found Kadra Parisi in darkness and she’s been my light ever since.

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