Page 81 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

“Two.” I turn my gaze back to the pretty woman to find her looking at me a little too long, making me uncomfortable. I clear my throat. “The other person is looking for a parking spot.” When she does not leave or stops staring at me, I snap. “Is there something wrong?”

The woman shakes her head and laughs softly. “Perdóname. Es que te pareces mucho a la mujer de la pared.” Ah, Spanish.

Reading her name tag, I see her name is Graciela.

I take in her pretty smile and can’t help but think how this woman radiates happiness with both her eyes and smile. She’s beautiful without trying. Now I get why the Russian is a regular here.

Ugh, that ugly feeling tightening around my insides that I have no right to is super annoying. Annoying and… it hurts.

Sighing, I focus on the woman. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.” I tell her honestly. My Spanish is not that great. I understand just the basics.

She waves me off with a friendly smile. “I’m sorry for staring. It’s just that you look just like the woman on the wall.” She motions behind her to the front of the restaurant. My frown deepens, clearly not understanding. “Anyway. Once your man arrives I’ll seat you both.” She winks before she turns and enters the restaurant.

My man.

Again, I try to ignore the butterflies.

I let out a long breath and hug my faux coat tighter around me when a rush of cold air hits me.

While I wait for Vitali, I grab my phone from my tote and open the security app to check on things back home. Check on Azariel. Another reason why I accepted to come to this place is because I know how much Azariel loved Vernon’s homemade enchiladas. The little boy has them almost every day for lunch. How someone so tiny eats like a man Vitali’s size will never cease to surprise me.

He starved once.

The thought makes my chest constrict and the organ keeping me alive to shrink.

That’s his past… I remind myself of that to lessen the pain in my heart but it doesn’t quite work. I think I’ll never get over Azariel’s unfortunate first years of his life.

I look at the live footage on my phone to see him sitting with Greta in the theater room while watching a black and white movie much like the ones Vitali enjoys watching. Crow and Grim sit behind him watching the movie as well while Vernon is leaning against the wall looking at the large screen with a bored expression on his face. I don’t miss the mountain of candy and junk food. The assholes are giving him unhealthy food when I’m away.

When I zoom on them my mouth twitches when Crow looks up at the camera and wiggles his fingers as if he knows I’m watching.

Shaking my head, I pocket my phone and make a note to rip his ass a new one when I get home or maybe not. Crow is a man child. A man child who has taken my Azariel under his wing and shown him more kindness than he was shown when he was Azariel’s age.

Then Vernon’s words from before flash through my mind.

You’re our home.

Looking up at the starless night I let a slow exhale and think of all of them. I think of how without wanting it or really hoping for it they all became my home.

My Neverland.

But unlike in Neverland and the macabre tale… I won’t ever keep them from growing up and living life.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re exquisite?” A sleazy gruff voice sounds too close for my comfort. My entire body freezes when I feel a strange man at my back. For a moment I’m stuck between my past and my present. Right now, I feel like the girl who was held down and had both her voice and choice taken.

The busy streets, the passersby and the crowded restaurant become blurry as I’m held by an invisible force. A torturous memory.

It only lasts for a minute before the pig behind me slaps my ass, snapping me out of it.

Here I thought I could have one night without violence but I guess not.

Taking a deep breath, I quickly open my bag, grab my knife and when I turn to face the dead asshole, I come face to face not only with him but with a very pissed off Russian. Where did he come from? And why didn’t I not notice him? Perhaps I didn’t notice his presence like I didn’t notice the jerk pushing up on me.

I raise my knife to the middle-aged man with a Ted Bundy kind of vibe and hooded drunken eyes. The idiot starts to stutter when Vitali pushes the muzzle of his gun behind his head and a clicking sound follows. So reckless. So…him.

“I should kill you. I should blow your brains right here, you fucking cockroach.” I don’t take my eyes off Vitali as he threatened the now trembling man. “Apologize.”

I roll my eyes. Tilting my head, I stop the asshole before he offers a useless apology that I don’t need nor want. “Save it.” Then I tilt my head and look at the angry Russian that looks like a rabid dog. “I don’t need you to defend my honor.”

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