Page 114 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

“I’m more than certain you can but you don’t have to enter the battlefield alone. Not anymore. I’m here now.” The hand on my cheeks falls to my neck and he brings me forward, hugging me. While he holds me like this as if I’m precious, I feel exactly what I felt when I was younger and I met him in the cemetery. I feel strong, safe… seen. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know it is not possible to go back in time to keep you safe from all that pain but if it were I would, kotyonok.” He holds me tighter, peppering my head with kisses. Emotions start to overwhelm me as I hold his shirt tightly, trying to get as close to him as I possibly can. Vitali takes a long pause, and I sit there quietly listening to the beat of his heart. It’s weird. The sound of Vitali’s heartbeat brings me a sense of peace I’ve never felt just like when I listen to Mozart and other greats. “I know this doesn’t change anything and it won’t lessen your pain but I did make it. I was late but I did go to the cemetery only when I got there you weren’t there.” He says gruffly, sadness evident in his tone. “I went every single year after that but I never saw you in person again until Volpe’s wedding. I did keep track of your every move though.”

A laugh breaks free when I realize what he means. My Russian stalked me. Good. It wasn’t just me. Vitali manages to make me smile although it’s clear that there’s no humor in his statement.

Lifting my face from his chest, I look up at him. I study his handsome face and don’t miss the anger behind the softness that’s always there when he looks at me. That softness that I never had until him. “I saw your eyes. When I was on the brink of giving up I saw your eyes and heard your voice in my head and it gave me strength. When he held me down…” I choked out. Taking a deep breath, I continue as Vitali starts rubbing circles on my back. “When he held me down and took what was not his to take, I saw your face and although I felt like dying in that moment, somehow your eyes and your voice in my head gave me the strength to make it through.” A tear falls from my eyes, and I don’t wipe it away. I let him see. “Do you think less of?—”

He cuts me off by wiping my tears away and hissing, “Don’t finish that sentence. Fuck.” He kisses my lips gently, and I savor the sweet gesture. Even though he’s angry, still he manages to be soft for me. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Kadra Parisi. I’m in awe of your resilience and don’t for a second think I would ever think less of you. You’re my goddamn superhero.” I suck in a breath, feeling emotion clogging my throat. You’re my superhero… his words remind me so much of Azariel. “I’ll kill him for you. I would if only you’d let me.” His words are cold, terrifying, and callous.

I’ll kill him for you. I would if only you’d let me. Thump. Thump. Thump. I recall Azariel’s offering to kill for me too. God I love them. All of them. How did I get so lucky? It still feels like a dream to me. Vitali. Azariel. Crow. Vernon. All my men.

I wasn’t planning on this. I wasn’t looking for them but somehow fate put them in my path knowing I needed them. Now I can’t imagine a world without them.

Lifting my hand to Vitali’s face, I trace the stars under his left eye. “I have to do it myself. I want to be the last thing he sees…” I look up at him, my eyes raking over his perfect face, that immaculate beard, the way a dragon tattoo peeks up from the collar of his black shirt.

Silence falls between us and I watch the war behind his eyes. I see the battle between wanting to fight my demon for me and accepting that I need to do it on my own.

Love like I’ve never felt before threatens to consume me.

I continue exploring his perfect face, the pads of my fingers trace his lips, and his eyes drift shut, a silent surrender. God, he’s so beautiful in a way that’s hard to believe he’s real most days.

As I touch his skin, a thought pops up.

“Will you erase his touch? Will you make it hurt less?” His eyes flash with desire and I continue with my bold request. “Will you erase him from my skin, erase him from my memory,” I ask him, loving the way his breath hitches, letting me see just how affected he is by not only my touch but also by asking him to make love to me.

In one swift move, the man rises from the bench taking me with him. Wrapping my legs around his lean waist, I hold him tighter. Shivers of excitement ran up and down my spine. “The moment I make you mine, that’s it, Moya dusha. You’re mine.” He gives me his eyes and waits for me to answer.

“I’ve always been yours, Vitali Solonik. Even before I ever laid eyes on you.” I whispered close to his mouth. “Always yours.”

I never felt anything like this. It’s overwhelming, incredible, and so beautiful. I never want it to end.

A low possessive growl falls from his lips before he takes my lips in his and carries me away and all the while I think of how my sisters must have felt when they were in this same position with their men. They must’ve felt like a princess being stolen away by their prince charming.

Not me though.

That is not the type of woman I am.

The man holding me in his arms has never been the prince in my story. He’s always been my favorite beast.

The most ruthless and feral beast who watched over me while I was trapped in a loveless and dark castle.

My perfect, perfect dragon.

Chapter 34

VITALI

MY ONE AND ONLY

“After memories fade, where

do they go?” — K

I’ve always been yours, Vitali Solonik. Even before I ever laid eyes on you. Always yours.

Her sweet words ignite the blazing fire that’s been bubbling inside of me for so long, ready to explode as soon as she says the words.

My one and only dream is in my arms looking at me as if I’m everything she ever hoped for and she’s putting all her trust in me.

With her in my arms I make my way to the center of the garden where the fountain is near her rose bushes, and gently put her down on her feet. “Here?”

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