Page 54 of Bastian

My heart: I will do it. On one condition.

My heart: *Puppy emoji* ??

I created a monster. The little brat acts cute now, but I know she’ll be a pain in my ass when she’s a teenager.

God help me when the time comes.

Me: Daughters don’t blackmail their fathers, Ellaiza.

My heart: It’s just business… daddy.

Laughing aloud, I send my reply telling her I love her, which she returns before I put the phone back down.

A good man would feel like the biggest piece of shit for using his daughter to get to the woman he loves, but I never claimed to be a good man, and I have always played a dirty game.

And Ellaiza is the one card I have on my deck.

The one person that could help me soften Arianna’s heart, and this way, I get to mend all of our broken hearts by fighting for the family both Arianna and my daughter never had.

Because love is Ellaiza.

Love is us.

The clearing of a throat captures my attention.

Turning in my seat, I watch as both Banning and Shaw are looking at me as if I’ve lost my goddamn mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve laughed more today than I have in the past three years. “Shaw.”

“Sir?”

“Leave us.” He nods and turns towards the door, leaving me alone with Banning.

I’ve held off on this conversation long enough, and it is long overdue.

Rising from my seat, I walk towards where he’s standing next to the door. Banning was always the one cracking jokes and calling me out on my shit, and that hasn’t changed, but lately, he’s been quieter than usual. Not quite himself, and it leads me to wonder if it’s because he is now stuck in the middle of whatever the hell this is between Arianna, his friend, and me, his boss.

We both stay quiet for a long moment, but then he’s the one to break the silence first. “I assume this is about Arianna.” He moves closer to where I am with a knowing look. I take the opportunity to truly look at my right-hand man. During these past three years, the man has grown stronger, building muscle on top of muscle. The motherfucker looks like a tank. A tank most wouldn’t want to cross their paths. I wouldn’t recommend it if they want to live to see another day.

Adjusting my cufflink, I move towards him, meeting him halfway before replying. “You assume right.”

His eyes search for something in mine. Anger? Perhaps regret? Can he see how fucking sorry I am? “You know.”

Looking him dead in the eye, “I do.” Clearing my throat, then I ask. “Why did you do it? Why did you not only lie but keep her from me?”

Banning shrugs uncaringly. “There’s not much I wouldn’t do for her.” For a second, jealousy blooms hot and fierce inside of me, but then I remind myself that Benjamin is no threat to me, but he is still a man. A man who got to see and speak to her when I wasn’t there.

He didn’t fuck up… you did.

“All the times I asked you to search for her, and you came back with nothing…that was a betrayal, Ben.” I use his first name because, at this instant, we are equal. Something that looks a lot like guilt crosses over his features, and I’m hit with the same feeling. It would be hypocritical of me to be mad at my most trusted man, who took it upon himself to help Arianna when she had no one. I made him her guardian while she was under my care, and I trust him with my life and the life of the most important people to me.

That doesn’t mean I am not mad-as-fuck at myself and him, but mostly at myself.

Betrayal.

That’s how it feels.

Banning’s face contorts in anger. “I told you she needed more than myself. Didn’t I? I told you she was vulnerable, and yet you did what you did. Yes, you wanted better for her, but fuck you, man, for breaking her heart and treating her like every motherfucker before you.” Banning snaps, losing all the control he’s been holding on to. Finally saying all he wanted to say to me but never dared to. “But most of all, fuck you for breaking Ellaiza’s heart in the process.” That he whispers angrily while his eyes shoot daggers at me. “I would do it again in a heartbeat, just so you know. You’re my brother, but those are my girls, and as long as they need me, I’ll be there.” Taking a step forward, he lifts his chin in defiance. Feeling my temper rise, I try to control the anger that his words stirred. The truth is that, in the process of wanting to be the good man, the best man, a man like Banning, I broke the hearts of the two people that mattered most to me.

“You’re right. I fucked up, no one knows this better than I do, and the only reason I am not pummeling your face right now for hiding her from me, it’s because you kept her safe. You took care of her when that was my job. I love you like a brother, but that’s my woman, and no one gets between me and her. I need you to be on my side now. I thank you, fuck, do I thank you for keeping her safe and all you’ve done, but now it’s my time to make up for my mistake, and you know it as well as I do that there’s no one else for her but me. No one.” I make my point clear, but Banning still looks skeptical but has a good mind to keep quiet, so I continue. “Now listen to me closely because I won’t be repeating myself, nor will I keep blaming myself. I’m moving forward.” Getting in his face, I tell him how things will go from now on. “I’m trying to repair what I broke, and for me to do that, I need you to be on my side. No lies. No keeping her from me. None of that. Because if you keep her from me again, brother or not, I will end you along with everyone else who tries to keep her from me.” With that, I punch the motherfucker right in the mouth and watch him trip backward. “That was for keeping her from me.” Stepping back. I adjust my tie, then spread my arms wide. “Take a shot.”

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