Page 40 of Bastian

My mouth feels dry, and my head tries to come up with something to say because lord knows, there are many things I wanted to say. Opening my mouth, I’m about to ask if she’s lost, but her sweet voice stops interrupting me.

Angling her face up, she holds onto my leg tighter and turns my world on its axis with the words that leave her pretty mouth next. “You came back to me, mommy. You came back to us!” She squeals in glee, bouncing up and down in her pretty-pink sparkling dress.

She looks so beautiful.

The picture-perfect first daughter.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

My heart.

And for the first time in three years, I drop to my knees with a heart full of love.

Full of Ellaiza.

Without giving me a chance to gather my thoughts or catch my breath, my little girl throws her tiny body at me, enveloping me in all that is her.

Love.

Powerless, broken, and somehow whole at the same time. I hug her tightly to my body. She called me mommy. I am not dreaming this. Ellaiza looked at me and called me mommy. “Ellaiza…” I don’t have the words to express what I feel right now because there aren’t any, so I just say her name.

Ella releases my neck and steps back a bit to stare at my face with happiness that shines from within her tiny little heart. “Did you find all the stars, mommy?” Her brows pull together. “Did you reach them all? I know it’s impossible to catch stars, but daddy says there’s nothing you can’t do, mommy. Did you do it?”

“W-what?” I stutter. Never in my life have I been this lost for words. “D-ddo you know who I am?” I breathe out, terrified.

“Of course, silly.” The beautiful, clever brat rolls her eyes adorably at me. Shit, it’s like looking at a cuter version of myself. “You’re my mommy,” she whispers with so much love it pours out of her straight into the broken pieces of my heart, breathing life back into it.

My head spins while my hands shake.

“I don’t understand…” I whisper back, with tears that have not fallen for so long, threatening to spill. One actually does.

“No, don’t cry, mommy.” Ella wipes the tear away with her still chubby thumb. God, I missed her. I love her. How? How is this possible? She was only three years old when she last saw me. How can she remember me? Has someone kept the memory of me alive in her life?

Perhaps Benjamin?

But no…

She distinctively said 'daddy'.

But that makes zero sense. Why would he?

Damn you, tyrant…

A soft kiss on my cheek warms me, bringing me back to the now. To her. “I missed you so much, mommy. I’m sorry if I doubted you would come back, but daddy didn’t!” She giggles, melting me more than her kiss. “Daddy kept saying that I should trust you. That you were coming back to me. To us!” Her blue eyes pierce through me, then her face grows serious. “Kyrie owes me twenty dollars. He said that you wouldn’t come back, but he was soooo wrong.” She sasses, tilting her little head. “What’s wrong, mommy? Are you not happy to see me? Is that why you’re crying?”

Pushing my heartbreak aside, I smile big for her. “I’ve never been happier. God, I could just eat your face.” I reply, tweaking Ella’s nose, causing her to giggle in the sweetest little voice I’d ever heard.

It’s true.

I’ve never been this happy or this confused at the same time.

And angry, don’t forget, pissed as hell.

Because this only means this perfect little girl spent three years thinking that for me reaching the stars was more important than her. Bullshit. I don’t understand what’s going on, and at the moment, I have more questions than answers, but what I am certain of is that there’s no way I’m ever parting from Ellaiza. Now more than ever.

---