Page 130 of Bastian

No. I look like hell, yet he never fails to remind me how beautiful I am to him.

Me: I look like a mental patient who hasn’t slept in two decades. You are just biased.

Daddy: I am biased, yes, but I also think my baby is making you lose brain cells, darling.

Me: Our baby, Sebastian. I am the one giving birth to her.

Daddy: So you finally admit you think it’s a girl.

Me: I admit, nothing. I am just going along with Ellaiza’s wishes.

Daddy: For our sake, that baby better be a girl…

Daddy: I’ll get you the chocolate, darling.

Me: Thank you, Sebastian.

Daddy: You are welcome, brat.

And that’s how our conversations go lately.

Too good to be true.

Sometimes, I feel like things are too perfect… but then I remind myself that I can’t live in fear of what might happen. That’s no way to live, and it has just made me miserable in the past.

For Ella and Baby Kenton, I am trying to break that cycle and just enjoy the little moments.

Like now.

Here, in the quiet and peaceful room of my unborn baby.

Rubbing my protruding belly, I look at all the decor. All I’ve worked on for months while Sebastian was in a coma. Decorating, the baby, and Ella kept me from losing my mind with worry. I was still worried, of course, but I had motivation keeping me from falling into a deep state of grief and misery.

“You are one lucky, baby…” I whisper, touching my stomach lovingly. I never thought I was mother material since I didn’t have a great example. I did love my sisters with all my heart, and I knew that love, even though it hurt. Loving them back then, hurt, but then Ella came along and showed me that I was capable of that kind of love, too.

A love that did not hurt.

Ellaiza might not have my blood running through her veins, but she is my daughter in every way it counts. She taught me how to love fiercely, and that is how I know I’ll be a good mother to this little one.

Because of the beautiful little girl who chose me to be her mother.

The same little girl who spent day and night in this room with me, helping get it ready for her sibling.

I chose the color, but she chose the theme.

Brown teddy bears and the moon.

And I thought it would be perfect not because the moon is the English translation of my name, no, but because the moon means something to Sebastian, and it also meant a lot to his mother. I wanted that beautiful bond they shared when he was a young boy to be present here in our baby’s room, just like in Eliza’s room.

So the entire nursery is painted white with gray furniture and brown teddy bears all over.

In the crib’s bedding. A teddy bear lamp on top of the nightstand. On the changing table.

It’s cute, and it’s perfect for this baby.

At first, I was bummed that I couldn’t go all out and decorate the walls and ceiling like I wanted because, well, not much can be done to the executive mansion, but after Benjamin, Ella, and I finished the nursery, it all came together beautifully.

There was one missing piece to make the room perfect, and it was delivered early this morning after Sebastian left. Benjamin helped me put it up, and now I cannot wait for both Ella and her father to see it.

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