Page 119 of Bastian

I am brought back and away from my thoughts when Dr. Sexton moves a handheld probe over my stomach. “The gel helps the probe transmit sound waves. These help us get a clear view of the baby on the ultrasound machine.” She gently explains every step, which I’m grateful for. I never thought I would have this life. A dream job. An education. A beautiful girl to call my own. Loyal people and friends who care for me, like Benjamin and Quinne. I never would’ve imagined a man like Sebastian or getting to build a family with him. That was not in the cards for a mafia princess, but here I am.

And I wish I could feel blissfully happy, but all I can think of is Sebastian fighting for his life and being on his own while I’m here. Of him not going home to his daughter or never meeting this baby.

“Isn’t it a bit early? I’ve heard ultrasounds are mostly done after seven to eight weeks.” I blurt out.

The doctor nods while moving the wand over my pelvis. “Yes, but this is just a precaution since you took a hard fall. It’s just to make sure everything is okay.” She smiles and then points toward the ultrasound monitor. “You won’t see anything clearly in four weeks, but see that tiny dot there?” I look at the black-and-white image and spot the tiny dot. “Yes…”

“I can’t see shit,” Benjamin mutters crassly and leans over me to get closer enough to see better.

Dr. Sexton laughs. “That is the gestational sac.”

Without taking my eyes off the screen, I ask what that is because I didn’t study medicine, and I don’t know what the hell she’s talking about. As if reading my thoughts, she explains. “The gestational sac is a fluid-filled structure surrounding an embryo during the first few weeks of embryonic development. It is the first structure seen in pregnancy by ultrasound as early as 4 to 5 weeks of gestational age and is 97.6% specific for the diagnosis of intrauterine pregnancy.”

“Huh…” That dot on the screen will develop into my baby. A baby. Suddenly I feel nervous. I’ve excelled at most things in life, but this is uncharted territory. Pregnancy. All that comes with trying to keep a baby alive. I didn’t have that opportunity with Ella.

I am pregnant. This is happening.

Then I think of Sebastian and how I might be doing this all alone if he doesn’t get the fuck up. Oh, God. Not only did the man make me his baby momma, but there’s no chance in hell I will be a single mother. Not because there is something wrong with that but because I refuse to live without him.

“I will be here every step of the way. So will the boss. He is one stubborn motherfucker and not even death can keep that obsessed motherfucker from you. Trust that.” Closing my eyes in pain, I take a deep breath when my brain and heart register Benjamin’s words. He always knows what to say when my mind instantly goes to the worst possible scenarios.

The doctor clears her throat and hands me a black and white photo of the tiny blob that was just on the screen.

Mine.

Mine and Sebastian’s.

That’s life.

A new life while its father is fighting for his.

Taking the photo, I hold it close to my heart. “Don’t worry. All will be fine. You’ll see.” Dr. Sexton says, offering me comfort, and for that I’m grateful. She then finishes cleaning me up and leaves me alone with Benjamin.

Once, I thought my heart was beyond repair. Too much damage. Too hurt.

To love someone other than myself.

Then he came along and changed everything.

Because my heart loves hard now. So much so that it has grown to hold more than one person in it.

At this moment, it has split in three.

A part is with Ella, the other with Sebastian in the ICU, and now…now there’s another with the tiny little piece of heaven currently growing inside of me.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I look up at Benjamin. “Please take me to him.” Whatever he hears in my tone and sees in my teary eyes makes him finally give in.

He sighs and then helps me up from the hospital bed carefully. I think whatever the medics gave me for the pain is working because I haven’t felt anything but numbness when it comes to my physical health. My emotional state is another thing altogether. There’s no medicine to help me with that. None Dr. Sexton would prescribe anyway. “Careful,” Benjamin whispers once my feet touch the floor. “My legs are fine, Benjamin. I can walk.”

“Shut up and let me help you.”

For the first time since meeting the Viking of a man, I do just that. I shut up and let him help me without giving him a hard time. I don’t have the energy to fight him anyway.

All I want to do is stand by Sebastian’s side.

Please…

Please don’t take him from me.

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