Page 47 of Back Home For Christmas

“Want to dance?” Steve asked.

“Sure,” I said. Thankfully, the song had changed to “Holy Night,” but when Steve wrapped his arms around me, I felt nothing. I plastered on a fake smile, which I worried was just my lips pulling up in a disingenuous grin. Steve, for his part, seemed completely oblivious, which I supposed was good. He didn’t have to be the love of my life for us to have a nice evening. We circled around like two kids at an awkward middle school dance.

When the song was over, we got a drink, then grabbed a bite to eat and watched the kids petting the dogs.

“I wonder if they would let me pet the dogs,” I said.

“I think it’s for kids,” he said.

“Right,” I said. I was bored. This “date” wasn’t nearly distracting enough. I found my gaze moving over the room every few minutes to see if Jay had arrived, not sure what I would do if I did see him, but I just had to know if he was nearby.

I followed Steve around the room from one activity to the next, saying hello to everyone I recognized, which was a lot of people, all asking why I hadn’t finished school yet. By the time we stopped in a corner for a breather, I felt mentally drained.

Then Jay walked in. I didn’t know if he saw me or not, but my eyes followed him through the room until he was lost in the crowd. Part of me wished he would come over and talk to me, even if it was just to throw insults around.

“This is nice,” Steve said. When I turned, I realized he was standing very close. My eyes grew wide as I instinctively pulled back. I did not want to kiss Steve. I did not want to kiss Steve. All I could think about was the feel of Jay’s lips on mine, and although I could never forgive him, or feel those lips ever again, I wasn’t ready to move on.

“Steve, I…” I didn’t know how I would finish that sentence because Darren interrupted me. It was the first time I was that happy to see him since I got home.

“Cat, can I talk to you?” Darren asked, pulling me away from Steve in the nick of time.

“Sure,” I said too quickly, walking away from Steve to follow Darren through the Christmasy halls that branched out from the main room. “What’s up?”

“First, I want to say I’m sorry. I’ve been a real jerk. I’ve let me own stress cloud my judgement. The shop isn’t your responsibility, and I really appreciate your help,” he said.

I looked around. “Okay, where is my brother?” I said.

He laughed. “But…”

“Oh alright, here it comes,” I said with a smile.

“You are being an impulsive ass,” he said.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“Jay has been in love with you since he met you in the first grade,” he said. I tripped over my own feet and nearly face planted on the marble floor.

“You are so full of it,” I said.

“I’m not. He assumed you hated him, and that he would never have a chance. Don’t get me wrong. He is also an idiot. The two of you are idiots together. You’ve spent so long looking for happiness everywhere but right here,” he said.

“I don’t believe you,” I said. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I can’t keep watching you throw your life away,” he said.

“I’m not throwing my life away. I finally finished my essay. Everything is fine,” I said.

“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me, Cat. Think about what I said.” He turned abruptly and walked away. I realized that we had ended up in another room in the community building. When I stopped and took a good look around, I gasped.

“What the…” I said, trying to make sense of it. Around me, on every available wall, were photographs. Not just any photographs. My photographs. All the pictures I had taken from the time I first got a camera and discovered the dark room to the moment I put it away for good. People milled about, admiring them. I hadn’t seen my own work in four years when I locked it all in the back of a closet to collect dust. What the hell was going on?

Chapter Thirty-Two

I let my fingers lightly graze the frames as I walked the perimeter of the room, tears of happiness—for once—slipping from my eyes. My heart felt suddenly so full to see my work on display that I couldn’t believe I had ignored it for so long.

“Cat,” it was Jay’s voice.

“Did you do this?” I asked, looking at him.

---