Page 34 of Back Home For Christmas

“I can feel you over-thinking, Cat,” his voice rumbled into the silent room, and I nearly gasped at the sound of it.

“What are you talking about?”

“You are so tense, you are practically vibrating with all the crazy thoughts in your head,” he said.

“Me? Crazy? You are the crazy one,” I said. Why am I so lame? I thought.

“You definitely have a tendency to over-think,” he said. “I’m sure that is why you haven’t finished your essay yet.”

“Way to hit below the belt, as I am just trying to fall asleep,” I said.

“I just think you have all these great ideas in your head, and you let your fears get in the way,” he said.

I rolled over and propped myself onto an elbow. “Oh really? And what exactly are you doing by staying in the city, working a miserable job when you actually want to be crocheting coffee cozies instead?”

His laugh vibrated through the bed. “I never said I want to quit my high-paying job to make coffee cozies.”

“Close enough. You are over-thinking and worrying about other people’s opinion. Who would you be if you weren’t some high paid, big shot, city boy?”

“I guess you are right. Maybe you could teach me how to crotchet. Then all my problems would be solved,” he said. There was something terribly intimate whispering secrets into the dark with Jay.

“Here is the secret to life, Jay. Everything can be solved with a cozy fire, a walk on the beach, a good book, Christmas lights, and a fun little project. Maybe a cat for good measure,” I said.

“Well, at least I have a cat,” he said. My whole body went warm as his low voice reached through every inch of me.

“You do not have me,” I said.

“Then I guess I am out of luck,” the genuine disappointment in his voice left me feeling vulnerable and confused.

“I guess so. Goodnight, Jay,” I said, turning back over, closing my eyes and ignoring the feel of his attention still locked on me from behind. Eventually, the bed shifted again as he got comfortable, and my brain settled enough to sleep.

Chapter Twenty-Four

I was vaguely aware of being wrapped tightly in warmth from a firm shape behind me. The room remained blanketed in dark as the minimal moonlight peaked through the curtains and the red glow of dying embers flickered on the ceiling. I squirmed just a little closer against the warmth behind me. I had been having the best dream when a large hand squeezed around my hip before gliding up to my waist, I remembered where I was and who I was with. My eyes shot open. Shit.

“Cat,” Jay groaned quietly into my ear. His hot breath brushing against my neck and sending electricity racing across my skin. My name on his lips held an unasked question, dripping with need that turned my insides liquid. I knew that my heart thundered so hard, he must have felt it from behind my rib cage.

I couldn’t move or think. His hand had frozen an inch away from my breast and I felt the firm, excited length of him pressing against my ass. I tried to move away in the hopes that my brain might start working again, but before I could get more than an inch, Jay grabbed my hip and rolled me hard onto my back before climbing on top of me. I couldn’t breathe. There was just enough light to see the intensity on his face an inch above me. Then my mind turned entirely to mush as he lowered his hips between my legs. I could feel his thick, hard cock pressed tightly against my panties. I was very aware that there were only two thin pieces of fabric keeping us apart.

A gasp escaped my lips as my hips started grinding against his erection without my permission, rubbing myself along his length as a growing warmth developing between my legs. He wrapped his hands around my hips, his fingers digging into my ass as he held me down to keep me from moving.

“Cat,” he growled again. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” my voice came out breathy. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. My body was on fire with need in a way I had never felt before. In the past, every guy I had ever dated started out as either a passionate, but ill-informed crush or someone who was just really persistent, and any intimacy felt kind of like a chore. Maybe my anger, dislike, and all the tension that I carried for Jay turned these moments of physical tension into a bonfire of lust. It didn’t make any sense, but with Jay on top of me, nothing did. I should have been pushing him off me, or telling him to sleep on the floor, but I couldn’t.

I could still feel his hard cock just barely touching me. My hips wrestled against his hands as I closed my eyes and bit my lip, desperate for the sensation of his full weight again.

“What do you want, Cat?” He had moved from whispering in my ear to let his lips graze lightly along my neck, sending shivers over my body as the length of his chest pressed down on top of me. Still, his hips hovered just barely out of reach. I didn’t know how to answer that question without sounding pathetic. I couldn’t possibly admit how badly I wanted him, although surely he could already tell.

“Do you want me to touch you Cat?” He asked. “Do you want me to run my hand along your bare skin, up under your flimsy little tank top to cup your breast or rub my thumb along your nipple?”As he spoke his hand slid up from my hip, to my waist, to my ribs, bunching my shirt up as his hand touched bare skin stopping just short of my breast. I could feel his thumb inching just slightly upward, and I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was feel. “Do you want me to slide my fingers underneath your panties? Find your opening and slide inside?” Again, as he spoke, I felt his other hand move from my hip as his thumb slid under the edge of panties. I nearly screamed out, but he didn’t touch me. His fingers stayed just out of reach. “Do you want me to push my hard cock inside of you and fuck you so hard you come for me?”

“Oh God,” I let out a whimper. “Please.”

“Please what, Cat?” He asked. He pressed a light kiss to my neck, moving from my jaw line down, excruciatingly slowly. “What do you want, Cat?” Was he really going to make me say it? He was awful. “You are overthinking, Cat.” He said, lifting further off me to look me in the eye. I let out a huff in frustration. “Just say it. Say what you want.”

“Fine. I want you,” I said, making it clear that I wasn’t the least bit happy about this revelation. He lowered himself back down so the weight of him trapped me against the mattress. Once again, I felt his firm erection between my thighs and couldn’t stop the sigh escaping my lips. I squirmed my hips around, feeling the exquisite sensation of him. But when he pressed his lips to mine, my thoughts vanished, and I was lost in the kiss. He used his tongue to part my lips as I became completely pliable to his will. His tongue brushed against mine, and I felt the power there, that I would have liked to feel other, lower places.

As he kissed me, he moved his hand along my bare skin, slowly, lightly until he reached my breast. I let out a gasp as he cupped my breast in his large palm and let his thumb play over my hard nipple. He moved his lips from my mouth back to my jaw line, down to my collar bone, before pulling down my tank top and darting his tongue over my nipple. I moaned.

---