Page 19 of Back Home For Christmas

He let out a quiet laugh.

“This isn’t funny. I know my awkwardness is a source of endless amusement for you, but I swear to God if you use this against me,” I said, not finishing the threat as my stomach acid threatened to come up through my throat.

“Kitty Cat, I think you need to take a deep breath,” he said. “Darren is downstairs. We are going to split up and walk down separately and have a normal dinner.”

“We can’t go to dinner,” I said. “Look at me. I’m drunk. And I just made out with you.” I groaned and sat back on the bed, head in my hands, waiting for the mortification to pass. “I have to leave the country.”

“I am going to go into my room. I will stay there until dinner time. Then I will go downstairs,” he said.

“No, Darren was just knocking. He knew you weren’t in there,” I said, panic constricting my lungs. How was this my life?

“Take a breath, Cat Scratch,” he said.

“You’re an asshole,” I said.

“I will tell him that I wasn’t ready to talk, so I didn’t answer,” he said.

“I cannot possibly sit through dinner with you,” I said.

“If I can sit through dinner with you, then you can sit through dinner with me,” he said.

“You are going to tell everyone,” I cried, returning my head to my hands.

“Why would I do that?” He asked.

“To embarrass me,” I said.

“And myself by association,” he said.

“Oh please, you aren’t capable of embarrassment. Besides, kissing me is like one big joke in a long line of jokes,” I said.

“I’m going now, Kitty Cat,” he said. “I will see you at dinner.”

He stood and left, quietly closing the door behind him.

Holy shit. Fuck. Fuck. How the hell did that just happen? I practically threw myself at Jay. What the fuck was I thinking? Hot tears slipped out of my eyes. He had been nice for all of two seconds helping me home, and I was climbing all over him. I stood up and started pacing the room.

I bet he only kissed me back because it was a novelty. Kiss the chick that you couldn’t stand, see what it was like. Then he could use it as ammo against me for the rest of our lives. He probably made out with girls all the time like it was nothing. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a boyfriend, let alone a good hook-up, in so long it was a wonder I remembered how.

I couldn’t go down to dinner. I wouldn’t. It was decided.

Chapter Fourteen

“Cat,” Darren’s voice echoed through the house. “Dinner.”

I froze mid pace. I would tell them I was sick. Thirty minutes earlier, I had to be carried up the stairs. It made sense that I should just fall into bed and not get out again until I died and had to be carted off in a body bag, right?

“Cat? Are you coming?” Darren called up again. I heard Jay’s door open, and his heavy footsteps go down the stairs.

I heard Darren and Jay’s muffled voices, and I wished I could hear what words were being exchanged. Was it polite pleasantries ignoring the elephant in the room? Was Jay confessing that he kissed me? Was he yelling at Jay for taking his ex-girl? Was Darren apologizing? I wanted to know so badly, I almost left my room, but then remembered I had to pack my bags and move to Antarctica and didn’t have time for idle gossip.

They moved too far away from the stairs for me to hear their voices. I imagined that mom was putting the serving dishes on the table. During the week leading up to Christmas, every night was like practice for the main event, with elaborate side dishes and fantastic mains. It was fabulous if you weren’t confined to your room out of unrelenting embarrassment.

Several minutes later, a knock came on my door, and I shuddered. “Cat,” it was mom’s voice.

I opened it and peaked into the hall to make sure no one followed her up.

“What’s up?” I asked.

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