Page 18 of Back Home For Christmas

“Sure. That’s why you tortured me my whole damn life.” I didn’t have a choice but to drop my hands and look at his face.

“You know, you aren’t bad looking. It would be better if you were,” I said.

“Why is that?”

“It would be easier to hate you when you are kneeling in front of me,” I said. Fuck. His expression remained stoney. I let my eyes remained locked on his.

He cleared his throat. “Cat,” he said. I was just drunk enough. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. They were warm, firm and tentative all at the same time before he lost any hesitation and wrapped his strong fingers around the back of my neck, pulling me tight against him. Kissing me with a fervor I had never experienced before. He wrapped his second arm around my waist and squeezed, forcing me to open my legs and wrap them around his body.

My lips parted slightly as he played his tongue across them. I was drowning, and I never wanted to come up for air. My whole body became pliable as he kissed me, sending shivers out to all of my nerve endings and making my brain go to mush.

He pulled away so suddenly, I almost fell forward. I opened my mouth to say something, but he brought his fingers to his lips to silence me.

“Shh,” he said. Down the hall there were footsteps, followed by a knock on another door.

“Jay?” It was Darren, at Jay’s door.

“Do you want to go talk to him?” I whispered, still pressed close to him.

“Not right now,” he said. I nodded. He said he wasn’t in love with Aubrey, but I had to imagine the situation stung a little. Hell, it stung me a lot. It felt like my brother was determined to only bring people who treated me like shit around this Christmas. Darren knocked again.

“Jay, are you in there? I just want to talk,” Several silent minutes passed as Jay and I waited, my heart thundering in my throat, wondering what layer of hell I somehow found myself in. I had kissed Jay? And now my brother might find us? I needed a goddamn Christmas miracle. Miracle on Cape Shore beach in which Santa Claus climbs in through the window and stops me from making any more incredibly stupid decisions.

My stomach dropped as Darren’s steps grew louder rather than quieter. Then his knock shook my door.

“Cat?” He asked. Was my door locked? I wondered with mind numbing panic. I couldn’t move. I should have pushed Jay away and tried to act casual, but there was no casual with Jay in my bedroom.

“I’m not dressed,” I slurred.

Jay looked at me with incredulous eyes, like it was the stupidest thing I could have said, but I needed Darren not to walk in.

“Ummm alright, have you seen Jay? I need to talk to him.”.

“Of course I haven’t seen Jay,” I said, while staring directly into Jay’s eyes.

“Listen,” he said. “Can we talk, about…you know.”

“Yeah, sure, but not right now.”

“What is going on?”

“I’m getting changed. I’ll be down in a bit,” I said.

“Okay. I think dinner will be ready soon, please don’t tell mom about Aubrey. They won’t care, but I just don’t want to make a scene, you know,” he said.

“Yes, fine,” I said. Somehow, he chose that moment to have the longest conversation in the history of conversations through my bedroom door. My palms started to sweat and my stomach was doing flips. I might throw up. I might throw up right onto Jay’s lap. The thought was both terrifying and hysterical. I had to bite back a laugh. It might be perfect pay back for the time he hid rotting eggs in my car after Easter. I swear I never got that smell out.

“Everything okay?” Darren asked through the door. His guilt must have been making him worried.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I said.

“Alright. See you downstairs,” he said. After the longest second of my life, I hear Darren’s footsteps retreat.

Then it was just me a Jay. I turned my attention back to him, feeling my cheeks burning red. Only a moment ago, I was kissing Jay Crowley. It didn’t compute in my brain.

“Cat,” he said in a horse whisper, sitting back on his heels to put distance between us, clearly coming to his own senses.

“No, no, that didn’t just happen. We will never speak of this again. We will chalk it up to the alcohol and the shock of the Darren/ Aubrey revelation. But we will not, under any circumstances, speak of this again,” I said. I stood up abruptly, making my head swim. I rested a hand on his shoulder to steady myself before I pulled it back. “No more touching,” I said out loud to myself.

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