Page 12 of Back Home For Christmas

“That was weird, right?”

“Incredibly,” he said with a lift of his eyebrows for emphasis.

“I guess you didn’t know anything about that either?” It was a dumb question. I would have had to be an idiot not to recognize the shock on his face when he saw them.

“No, I definitely didn’t,” he said. Now that I was standing there talking to him, I had no idea how to end the conversation.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I’m fine.”

I nodded. Was this my opening? Should I take him at his word and duck out?

“How do you feel about it?” He asked. Damn it.

“It’s Darren’s life. I guess it isn’t really my business,” I said. Points for diplomacy.

“I know how much you hated her,” he said, and there it was. The statement that could draw me in.

“What?”

“I know you hated her.”

“How could you know that?”

“She was pretty awful to you,” he said.

“How did you know that?” I asked. Talking to Jay was a strange mix of surrealism and familiarity. He had been a staple in my life since I was in first grade always hanging around with Darren, playing video games in the living room, eating dinner, sleeping over, teasing me every chance he got, while at the same time I knew almost nothing about him. Until I arrived home two days ago, I hadn’t spoken more than a few sentences to him. In these quiet moments, I realized he was at once a complete stranger and someone I knew so well.

“It was pretty obvious to anyone with eyes,” he said. I found my butt scoot onto the bar stool against my will.

“If you knew what a monster she was, why were you with her?” I asked, although I guess it made sense. They were both assholes together.

He shrugged. “I guess I had my reasons,” he said. I scoffed.

“I’m sure you did,” I said.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, picking up on the subtext.

I made some sounds of disbelief, then we fell into silence. I was trying to decide if I wanted to hop off the stool and bail or force him to explain himself, when the bartender came over.

“Cat?” I took my eyes off Jay and turned to see Steve Turner standing on the other side of the bar with a hand towel hanging over his shoulders. “I can’t believe it! I never thought you would be back here. All you ever talked about was leaving.” When he realized who I was sitting with, his eyes grew even wider. “And with Jay? Have I stepped into the twilight zone?”

“Hi Steve, it’s good to see you! I am not really here with Jay,” I clarified. But then realized how shitty it sounded. Even if I did hate Jay, I probably shouldn’t be outright rude when my brother had just stomped on his heart. Steve had been on the periphery of my tiny friend group in high school. Sometimes he was there and sometimes he wasn’t, but I never knew who invited him. He also happened to be my very first kiss. It was awkward and unwanted. We were playing Cuphead on Steve’s Xbox. It had taken us about thirty minutes to beat one level while everyone else partied around us. When we jumped up in excitement, he leaned in and kissed me.

“I mean, we are kind of working together this week,” I said.

“I heard you were some big shot Goldman Sachs guy in New York City,” Steve said.

“I am,” Jay said. Talk about sounding rude.

“Cool, cool. So what kind of work could you possibly have back here?” He asked, oblivious to Jay’s dismissive tone.

I looked from Jay to Steve, feeling unreasonably awkward. I didn’t want Jay telling Steve the truth, that the two of us were setting up my family’s booth. The impulse didn’t make any sense. I didn’t have anything to prove to Steve. There wasn’t anything wrong with helping my parents while I was home, and Steve hadn’t left our small home town either. He wouldn’t think twice about the booth, and yet I felt so uncomfortable, which made me feel like a shitty daughter for somehow being embarrassed about my parent’s shop. Or maybe I was just embarrassed that I was doing it with Jay. My feelings were all over the place, and it felt pointless trying to pin them down.

“I’m spending the holidays with Cat and Darren and their parents. Cat and I are helping with the Christmas shop.” His tone was still so monotone, bordering on outright disdain. Did these two have history that I didn’t know about?

“Very cool,” Steve said, his perma-smile never faltering. “So Cat, what can I get you?”

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