It made my stomach twist in fucking knots.
It felt immorally wrong in every sense, but my high was too strong, and the need for Charlotte’s touch consumed me. So, with an apprehensive nod, I feel the pad of her index finger lightly skim across the jagged flesh until a rush of air spills out of my mouth. I wanted to hate the feeling as much as I wanted her to lay her whole hand over my wound. As the tip of her digit drags over the inflamed area, her eyes seek mine out as if to see if her touch is tolerable. Her gentleness made me want to push her hand further down the length of me, but I couldn’t for the fucking life of me stop her from doing what she was doing.
Or how she was making my heart sing for her.
What I was experiencing right now wasn’t just sexual need. It was an unworldly, soul-binding encounter that would forever be embedded into the bleakest parts of me.
As if her fingers weren’t torturous enough, her body slid down until her knees smacked the floor and every wicked thought in my head turned fucking ruinous. The sight of her on her knees was something I never thought I’d ever experience, and damn if the sight wasn’t beautiful. Her innocent doe-eyed expression drank me in with intensity as her pouty lips trembled with nervousness. I wanted to ease her anxiety, but I knew the sight of me hovering over her with sinful intent wasn’t going to fix anything.
“Fucking beautiful.” I murmur. Lowering my hand to her face, she gradually tilts her head up and embraces my finger caressing the seam of her lips in a praising touch. Her mouth is still damp from our kiss, making it effortless to glide my thumb across her cupid's bow. “And all mine.”
Her teeth snag my finger in warning, digging the sharp ridges into my flesh until she swiftly replaces the pain with the coolness of her tongue. My eyes grow heavy as I study the ways she uses her tongue as a remedy. Swirling and sucking, the pain relinquishes, and then suddenly, with a pop, she spits out my finger and focuses on my stomach.
Her silence was killing me, but the way her eyes ravaged my scars like they were beautiful had me resurging back to life. Then ever so slowly, she leans forward. With my heart battering and mind spinning, her warm breath fans over my abdomen, causing every muscle in my body to spasm. I brace for her lips, for her tongue, and when her pillowy mouth finally connects with my marred skin, I die.
A growl reverberates in the back of my throat as powerlessness captures me. I was paralyzed, fucking vulnerable when it came to Charlotte, and now she has rendered me speechless. She trails three more soft kisses onto each swollen scar before pulling away altogether.
“Tell me this is what you want.” I demand. “Fucking tell me, and I’ll give you every piece of me I have left to give until I’m empty.”
I was on the brink of grabbing her, tossing her in the nearest bedroom, and committing wicked acts to her body. I knew what I wanted. I knew this was it, but the only thing in my way was Charlotte.
She slightly opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. She’s unsure of herself and terrified as she refocuses on me, but to my surprise, she replies. “I don’t want you empty, Arsen.” Her voice is quiet, almost like she’s petrified to admit it. She pauses for a brief moment, takies a deep breath for strength, and bravely meets my stare. “I want to fix every part of you that’s broken until you’re no longer in pain.”
My heart rate spikes, and for one pivotal moment, I find myself completely transfixed by the woman who’s stolen my fucking breath. She was slowly seeping through the cracks and corners of my soul, intertwining herself within every screwed-up part of me that made me want to claim her for myself. To protect her the way I did with Phoebe, but even more so now that she had been murdered.
“Stand up.” I order, hungry for another taste of her mouth and her hands on me.
Obeying, she steadily rises off the ground with worry marred across her pretty face, completely avoiding my heavy stare as her cheeks redden. “Look at me.”
With minimal hesitation, she shifts her eyes up to mine.
“You want to fix me, angel? Mend me back together to your preferred specifications?” I lean my palm against the wall beside her head, filling her lungs with the only air she will ever need. “I don’t need you to repair me. I don’t want you to.” Hovering my lips over her mouth, I inhale her needy gasps, sucking them in eagerly. “All I need is your submission, your fucking confession. And every nightmare I have ever dreamt, every fucked-up thing that has ever happened in my life, will fade. You know why?” I press, resting my opposite hand on the thrashing pulse on her neck. “Because you're an escape from my darkness.”
I didn’t need to be saved with her light. Hell, I didn’t want her to save me at all. I’ve grown accustomed to my wicked side and quite enjoy it. But with Charlotte, I felt more human than I have ever felt, and for once, I felt like I could finally fucking breath. It was a perfect balance that I thought I’d never experience. So, as I wait for a reaction from her, I feel her throat contract under my palm.
“Take me to your room.”
21
CHARLOTTE
I’m in Arsen’s room.
Sitting on his bed while he stands shirtless in front of me. I couldn’t exactly process what was happening right now as my body and mind were still in complete shock from what just had transpired between Arsen and me. My lips still burn from our kiss, and my eyes can’t seem to focus on anything other than his sculpted chest and the scars that cover the front of his abdomen. The redness of the swollen area complemented his pale skin and dark hair, but the second my eyes first came in contact with it, rage had consumed me. Who the hell would do this to him? And why? Why would they deform his perfect skin like this? The thought sickened me to the core, but I couldn’t let my emotions show in front of him. Instead, I had dropped down onto my knees and showed him just how beautiful I thought he was.
Despite his imperfections.
And now, here we are. Silently watching each other. His clouded eyes study me with such intensity that I want to sink into the bed and hide. Before, it was easy to lock eyes with him and not feel like I was being dissected, but now, I could barely keep eye contact. Everything has changed. Not only did he want my body, but he also wanted my soul.
But would he still want me after he learned about my secret?
Would I still want him after discovering the skeletons in his closet?
It sounded shallow, but despite a troubled past, Arsen was still a dangerous man with dangerous intentions. He wasn’t going to be a normal lover. A normal man would send you flowers, try to woo you, and ask you out on dates. With Arsen, a good, old-fashioned finger fucking in a library was his way of expressing his want. And for someone like me, that was good enough.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” He arches a brow, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his black slacks. I was surprised at his patience because, in every other situation, he was the complete opposite.
“Things.” I mumble, running my palms over my thighs to calm my nerves, but every nerve in my body is bursting under his stare. With my gaze now focused on the ground, I watch as Arsen’s feet come into view and his knees knock into mine.