Page 53 of The Secrets of a Sin

Does she know?

Did Annalise tell her about the shower?

With all the what-ifs and thoughts running through my head, I almost forget Arsen is still gripping my upper arm and glaring down at me with intensity. “I have to get to class.” I mumble, trying to pull out of his hold, but he only squeezes tighter.

“And I have to speak with you.” He demands.

Sighing, I loosen up my frigid frame and glance up into his beautiful face. “What?”

He scowls down at me for a second before dragging me with him down the hallway until we’re at a spot where the wall protrudes out, and we’re easily concealed behind it. “What crawled up your ass?” He questions, eyeing me skeptically with a frown on his mouth.

Seriously?

Maybe because Verity Bell wants to get into your pants, and I got caught watching two people I know fuck in the showers?

The last part I’ll keep to myself because he didn’t need to know that.

“I’m not doing this with you today, Arsen. What do you have to tell me?” I ask with an exasperated groan. With my back to the wall, he stands at a safe distance in front of me, but with him that doesn’t mean shit. He was ready to pounce at all times.

“Phoebe was pregnant.” He rushes the words out, and I instantly flinch.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant when she died.

I feel my eyes spike with warm tears, and my arms become overcome with the need to wrap themselves around his strong middle. I didn’t care if he was going to push away. I just knew I needed to comfort him and even myself at this moment. So, after drying my face with the back of my hand, I close the gap between us and enclose my arms around his waist. His heat invades every one of my senses, and I completely melt into him. My head rests over his beating chest, and I try to focus on the wild thumping of his heart to alleviate the heartache I feel. And to my surprise, once again, he tugs me closer to his body, absorbing anything and everything that I have to give.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble into his shirt, squeezing him tighter than I ever have before as he drops his chin on top of my head. I savor this moment. I savor him and let myself be the anchor that holds him together. Even vicious men need solace.

“We need to find him, Charlotte.” He pleads in an angry tone. “We need to find the bastard in the notes.”

With the little evidence we had, I had no clue how we were ever going to find him. Surely, if they kept their romance a secret, they had no intentions of ever being discovered. So, the chances of finding him were slim, but I couldn’t tell Arsen that. “I know.” I whisper, telling him what he needed to hear.

“I need him to experience the pain that I’m feeling.” He snarls, digging his arms into my sides as he tightens around me. “The constant fucking nightmares that keep me awake all night. The permanent gash that’s now carved into my heart. I want him to carry all the fucking burdens I carry until the grief of it all causes him to drown in his agony."

My breathing labors from just listening to him, but it’s my heart that aches the most.

“Death will never be enough vengeance.” He confesses, and I swear I feel his heart physically crack under my ear. “Nothing will ever be enough to fix this. But if I don’t fucking try to do something, I’ll ruin myself to the point I’ll no longer be worth saving.”

“Vengeance won’t make things right, Arsen. It won't make you feel better. It won’t make Phoebe's death any less painful. Knowing why and who did it, getting every answer to your questions will be enough to carry on. She wouldn’t want you to do something stupid that could ruin your life. She’d want you to live and be the man she always looked up to.” Lifting my head, I back away slightly to peer into his eyes. “Be the better man, Arsen.”

And I pray he will be.

17

CHARLOTTE

After Arsen left without so much as a word, I had a feeling our too-tight and soul-stirring embrace was far too much for his emotional capacity. He was overwhelmed, in a fragile state, and I tried to comfort him the only way I knew how. Maybe I shouldn’t have succumbed so quickly to him after what we’ve been through together, but I couldn’t bear seeing him in pain. It was like our emotions were intertwined, and what he felt, I felt too.

So, since I was already extremely late to class, I decided to skip it altogether and hang out in my room for a bit. I needed a breather anyway after everything that just went down. I had zero amount of strength left in me to encounter Priscilla or Verity, for that matter. Besides, the only thing on my mind right now was the revelation that Phoebe had been pregnant. It only added more mystery and anger to the equation, which spurred my thoughts into action.

Did her killer know she was pregnant?

Is that why they killed her?

My mind wouldn't stop racing with endless possibilities to what had happened to her. But whatever happened wasn’t just some accidental murder or the suicide that the cops and everyone else think. There was something far darker and more sinister that had ensued in Phoebe’s private life, and so far, the discovery of her secret lover was one step closer to finding the truth. He was the key to what may have happened. Finding him was our next goal, and I was certain Arsen wouldn’t stop until he did.

So, as I lay in bed with my eyes lost in the ceiling, I realize that I should probably get up and start walking towards my next class. Even though I desperately want to stay in bed all day, I know it is not worth a reprimand and getting sent to the confessional. Pushing myself up from my elbows, I toss my legs over the side of the bed and rise to my feet. Then scurrying over to my desk chair, I grab my bag and head out into the hallway. It doesn’t take long until I’m entering the academic wing of St. Catherine’s and walking down the empty corridor that leads to Sister Mary’s class. In fact, it’s eerily quiet to the point I’m on edge, and my skin breaks out in a cluster of goosebumps. With each passing step, I glance all around me as if someone is watching me, but whenever I look, no one is there. I probably look like an idiot, but I don’t think being on high alert is such a terrible idea after what happened here.

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