Page 44 of The Secrets of a Sin

After a sentimental goodbye from Jack when the funeral was over, we both sat on the hood of Arsen’s car staring out into the night sky. A mist of hazy clouds covered the atmosphere, making the stars appear disoriented from where we sat, but it was still beautiful to gaze out. With my hands in my lap and my hip brushing against his, I feel almost uncomfortable being in his presence. He appears to be deep in thought, with his eyes trained on the moon. I want to talk, or at least, ask him how he is doing, but I feel that if I do, I will only irritate him. So instead, I watch the moon with him.

“You’re being awfully quiet over there.” He announces, causing my eyes to shift over to his side profile. It’s hard not to admire his neatly trimmed beard and his perfectly cut jawline that looks deadly to even touch. Realizing I am gawking, I stare down at my hands. “You normally never shut up.”

Scowling, I lift my head and notice he’s watching me. “That’s not true.” I grunt. “I just don’t know what to say to you right now.” I mumble, peering off into the distance even though his gaze is still on me.

I wait for a response, but I never receive one. So, glancing back over at him, I notice his jaw is tight as if I upset him with what I said.

Great.

“You don’t like me, Arsen, and that’s okay. I promised myself I wouldn’t be a jerk to you, so that’s why I’m not saying anything. But I want you to know that I’m here for you. When you need someone to scream at, I’ll be that person. If you want to insult me, then do it. I can take it. Whatever makes this.” I lean my palm in close and rest it over his pound heart. “Beat again.”

His body tenses as his stare drops down to where I’m touching him. Perhaps what I said was completely foolish, but I needed to let him know that he has someone that’s willing to help him.

His throat bobs, and his eyes close, almost like he’s in pain. “It is beating, Charlotte.” He responds gruffly. “It has been ever since I met you.” He admits, causing my stomach to flip in circles. His eyes open then, and I find a softness in them I’ve never seen before. I want to lean in closer and see if the rest of him is just as delicate. “Come here.” He orders, widening his legs and inviting me to sit in-between them, and I immediately jerk back in surprise. Rolling his eyes in irritation, he gives my back a slight push off the hood and signals me where to go. “Don’t overthink this. I need something other than cruelty and darkness tonight.” He admits, and I frown, realizing he was more than hurting.

He was suffering.

“Let me hold you. Please.” His plea tugs forcibly at my heartstrings, and I instantly give in. Slowly taking my spot in-between his legs, he reaches for my waist and helps me up onto the hood where my ass nestles in against his warm thighs. He’s stiff behind me as if this is his first time being intimate with a woman other than having sex with them. Reluctantly and awkwardly, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in close.

“Why do I have a feeling you’ve never done this before?” I ask teasingly but wasn’t expecting my statement to be true.

“Because I haven’t. I don’t…cuddle.” He says the word ‘cuddle’ like it’s foreign to him, but with his arms still tightly secured around me, I can feel he is enjoying it as much as I am.

“Is it helping you?” I question.

“No.” He lies, and I smile.

“You’re more stubborn than I am.”

“Doubtful.” He scoffs.

A moment of silence passes between us, and I have the sudden urge to talk more. “Since we’re being somewhat nice to each other for the day, tell me something happy about you.”

He squirms behind me and grunts. “One, I never agreed to be nice to you. And two, no more talking.”

“I’m an Aquarius.” I announce, catching him off guard, expecting him to be upset that I didn’t follow his order to be quiet.

“Thanks for the useless information.” He deadpans, clearly uninterested in my astrological sign.

“What are you?” I twist my head around to peer up at his face, and he loosens his hold around my waist.

“If I tell you, will you shut up?” He stares down intensely into my eyes and trails his focus down to my lips.

“Maybe.” I mumble, feeling trapped in his closeness and the desire that's now exuding out of him.

“Gemini.”

Huh. Interesting.

Grinning, I twist my head back around to face the sky, but this time drop my head back so it's resting right below his shoulder. Gemini and Aquarius are known to be the most compatible, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

Honestly, that explains a lot.

Now relaxed in Arsen’s arms, I follow his word for the first time and shut up. I sink into the feeling of his arms around me and the belief that he might not actually hate me, but in reality, longs for me. He’s just hiding behind a façade, and one day, he will wake up and notice that I’m the one. It’s a good fantasy to have, and being in his arms almost makes it seem true.

We sit for what feels like an hour wrapped in each other's arms, and I let out a yawn. “You can take me back whenever, you know.” I explain as my eyes begin to feel heavy in his comfy embrace.

“I know.” He rests his chin onto the top of my shoulder. “I just don’t want to right now.”

---