Page 39 of The Secrets of a Sin

Sniffing around me.

Sniffing around Arsen.

Fuck.

11

CHARLOTTE

Saturday passed by in a blur, with an AWOL Arsen and no surprise interaction from Annalise and the others, the day felt strangely normal. I remained in my room most of the day, trying my damn hardest not to brood over why Arsen was a no-show last night. I waited beside the doors like an idiot with a hopeful stammer to my heart that I was going to see him. While my head was the only sensible thing about me, I continuously fought my body's reaction toward him. He had a certain pull on me, that whenever he was near, all rational thinking flew out the window. For years, I managed to suppress my need, but it only took one wrong step to ruin everything.

And I was still healing from my previous screw-up, so succumbing once more to a man who had hazy intentions would be further destructive to my well-being.

As I lie in bed, flipping page after page of my new book, I hear a faint tapping sound coming from my window. At first, I feel every muscle in my body freeze, but when I hear the soul-stirring voice that's been haunting my dreams materialize, I quickly jump out of bed. Surely enough, standing with one arm pressed up against the wall and the other pinned up against the glass, Arsen meets my eyes and motions his head down towards the latch on the window.

What the hell is he doing here and how the hell did he find my room?

“Open it.” He mouths, but my defiance gets the best of me, and my feet remain rooted to the ground. His faultless jaw ticks as his stare demands me to obey. Crossing my arms, I lift my mouth in a cruel smile knowing I am the one in charge right now. If he wanted me to open the window, he better be ready to beg.

Slowly shaking his head back and forth, I watch as his shoulders roll in a steady circle before leaning his face closer to the window with a deadly expression across his sinfully handsome face. “I don’t have time for your fucking games, Charlotte. Now open the window before I break it.”

Sadly, I believe him, but no matter how intimidating he is, I am not backing down. “Where were you last night?” I ask indifferently, not wanting him to think I was stewing about his absence all day and night.

“Busy.” He grunts with annoyance while I roll my eyes at his one-worded response. I wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, but the rush I was experiencing was too elevated to shun him. As normal and dull as yesterday was, I missed the way my body ignited under his harsh stare and how my hatred towards him shifted into something volatile. We both shared an unexplainable connection that we were both still trying to figure out. I wasn't sure what I wanted more, to fuck him or smack him?

Either one would be thrilling.

“Well, I'm busy now too.” I shrug, noticing immediately how his stare burns through me with savagery. The pale color of his skin turns a deep shade of crimson while his nostrils flare in a beastly manner. Even with a contorted face and clenched fists ready to shatter the window, I can't help but admire his undoubted beauty.

“Jesus fucking....” Dropping his head, he pounds sternly on the window as if he's trying to intimidate me. Lifting his head of inky black hair that falls almost perfectly over his brow, he looks completely powerless. I know for a fact he's used to being in charge, and right now, all his demands mean nothing if I wasn't going to listen. “Not that it's any of your damn business, but I was preoccupied with work last night.”

Squinting my eyes to take him in closely. I try to find any inkling that he may be lying but when I don't, I raise my chin. “Then what are you doing here now? I thought I made it perfectly clear that I can't be seen with you.”

He grins mischievously as if breaking the rules excites him, especially knowing that I would get punished if caught. And if I knew any better, he was already planning all the ways to discipline me once he made his way into my bedroom. “Let me in, and I'll gladly tell you.”

Contemplating my options, I either open the window and surrender to whatever form of abuse he has brewing inside his head, or I could really test his patience and ignore him. “How do I know you won't hurt me?” I ask, genuinely curious. I wasn't really talking about physical pain, more about pushing my limits with something I knew I wouldn't be able to refuse. He wants me submissive, and I am almost positive he knows how to make me bow.

“Have I hurt you before?” He raises a brow in question.

“I mean no... not how you're asking you haven't.” I stammer, remembering my weakened state from the previous night where I shamelessly came on his tongue. Each encounter was progressively getting worse, and I was letting him get away with more and more. Granted, I haven’t let him fuck me, but I was terrified I might let him soon. Then and only then would my progress here be thrown out the window if it hasn’t already. Oral sex, fingering, and riding his thigh were bad enough, but sex would be ruinous.

“Then no, Charlotte. I won't hurt you. I swear it.” He reassures me in a gruff tone as if it pains him to say it. “No matter how fucking bad I want to wrap my fingers around your delicate little neck until you finally get it in your head that I'm the one in charge here.” He snarls through clenched teeth that make him appear rabid.

Inhaling, I try to hide my gasp and the shivers that jet down my spine. “Well, that was awfully stupid of you to say.” I back away from the window in small steps, only for him to growl in warning.

“I only have so much restraint, Charlotte, and if you take one more god damn step away from this window, I'll paint that ass red with my palm until you can't even sit.” He threatens, but all I feel is a jolt of electricity shoot up my thighs until the all-familiar throb hits, and my legs feel weak. “Imagine walking into the confessional with a welted ass and having to tell Father Henry why you can't sit down.” He mocks with a smile. “Maybe he can advise you that it's in your best interest to comply with those who are above you.”

“Fuck you, Arsen.” I seethe. “You'll never be above or below me.” I add in innuendo that feels like a lie as soon as it passes through my lips. “If anyone's in charge right now, it's me. And if you really need to get into my room as badly as you say, you'll start being nice to me.” I nod towards the glass, catching his eyes shift, as well as his body, into a mixture of loathing and desire.

“You want me to be nice, Charlotte? You want my sweet words?” He taunts with wicked eyes that claw straight through me. “Will that make you feel safe?”

Safe? Around Arsen? Never.

There wasn't a minute during one of our minimal encounters that I ever felt safe with him, but to my surprise, that was the most riveting thing about him. The unknown and the plethora of secrets that he kept buried inside his head. I wanted to crawl deep inside that mass of mystery until I came out just as tainted as he was, if not more.

“It won't make me hate you as much.” I shrug, noticing the way his mouth turns up slightly at my remark. Admiring him was quickly becoming second nature to me. Even if the sight of him caused my blood to boil, I couldn't stop my eyes from hungrily trailing down his basic black tee that looked anything but basic on him.

Turning the latch on the window, I cast my eyes downward as I feel his heavy stare bore through me with high potency. The second it becomes unlocked, I grab onto the bottom and pull up until the smell of him quickly invades my senses. Taking a few large steps away from the window, I watch as his leg arches over the ledge and his arms pull him further into my room until both feet are planted on my carpet. Never straying his eyes from mine, I sense all his cockiness and dominance flooding back as his eyes read vengeance. Immediately regretting my decision, I cover myself with my arms, hoping that it somehow shields me from him. “I let you in. Now tell me why you're here.” I grunt, aggravated at his ploy to terrorize me with his eyes and wide stance. His smell already lingers in the air, causing my senses to go haywire and my libido to kick into overdrive. I was inwardly kicking myself for having these feelings about someone I couldn't stand. And they were definitely re-cooperated as he inhaled me with crazed eyes. “Earth to Arsen?” I shuffle my feet in annoyance and to try to alleviate the anxiety I feel building up inside.

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