Page 33 of The Secrets of a Sin

The slap to my face seemed to sting less than her words. But I couldn’t blame her for being upset over the fact our entire ‘wholesome’ image as a family was ruined.

“Elaine! Enough!”

“Was it worth it, huh?” She demands with a crude smile. Her deranged eyes scoured my face for any sign of repentance but my emotions were masked with a blank stare. I was used to her cruel words by now, but I had a feeling it was about to get much worse. “Displaying your pussy to them like it’s a fucking dessert platter and letting them perform those perverse acts on you.”

“That’s enough, Elaine.” My dad grunted beside her while his grip on her tightened.

“No, it’s not enough!” She shouts, directing her attention towards him now. “I’m her mother, and she’s going to listen to every damn word I have to say, no matter how crude I get.”

Beside me, I could sense Principal Howard’s aggravation and sympathy for me as he met my vacant stare. He was probably wondering why I wasn’t defending myself or telling her off for talking about my ‘cunt’ in the same room as my dad and high school principal.

“I guess she’s suddenly mute now.” She throws her free hand up in frustration. “Which is certainly far from the truth after hearing your…”

“My screams?” I interrupt with a sharp bite that has both my parent’s eyes bulging. “Or do you mean my moaning? Because there was an awful lot of both going on.” While my dad looked more horrified than anything, my mother chuckled into the air with her head tilted towards the ceiling.

“Both of you, knock it off!” My dad bellowed, causing us both to flinch. He was always the level-headed one, so to see him erupt like this was abnormal. My shoulders slumped back, feeling defeated. Everyone in the room looks defeated. My mother dropped her ass onto the floor in a heap of tears, drowning her sorrows into the crook of her arm while my dad continued to observe me in confusion.

“Let's take a break for now.” Principal Howard cut in with a soft voice, but I could feel my lies slowly eating away at me. Their eyes were laced with a mixture of pain and betrayal. The worst kind of combination that had my heart slowly sinking in my chest. Secrets upon secrets were gnawing their way at my flesh, clogging my throat with the words I desperately wanted to convey to them.

Would they understand?

Would they even believe me after I told them?

“I...” The words burn on impact, but I continue. “I didn't know they were recording us.” I swallow, feeling all eyes connect with my trembling frame. Even my mom. “It all happened so quickly. It was like…I couldn't stop myself from what was going to happen.” At first there was silence, like they were letting my speech sink in.

“What do you mean you couldn't stop yourself? Did they force you?” My dad's furious voice questioned while I shook my head vehemently.

“No.” I feel fresh tears sting my eyes, clouding my vision. “There's something wrong with me.” Lowering both his brows, he pivots a foot like he wants to reach out to me and hold me, but instead rubs at his forehead.

“Before that night, I was constantly lying to myself that I didn't have a problem. That there was no possible way I could have something wrong with me. I'm the daughter of a renowned mayor and a retired model, there's no fucking way I can't be perfect like you both." My eyes blur, but I still meet both of their stares. “I can't stop thinking about sex.” I finally whisper the truth that has them both sucking in a gasp of air. “It's like I’m on an endless loop that won’t stop. Everything in my life is becoming. I can't concentrate, and I feel physically fucking ill when I don't feel that high. My head is filled with horrible nasty things that I

“Charlotte...” My dad's face softens, taking small hesitant steps toward me.

“Are you saying you think you’re a sex addict?” My mother announces in disbelief as she rises from the floor. “Are you hearing this, Joe? Our daughter... a sex addict.” She chuckles darkly as I feel my dad’s hand soothe my back with light rubs.

“God dammit, Elaine, she needs our help. Not to listen to you talk down to her like some fucking.”

I should have known that my mom would patronize me. Her arms cross over her chest with a sinister glare pointed in my direction.

“You honestly believe the words that are coming out of her mouth?” She asks with a small nod.

“Of course, I believe our daughter.” He sneers. “If there's something wrong with her, we need to get her help.”

Help. A shrink. A therapist. Fucking medication.

My cheeks flush red now that my confession is finally out in the open. Even though my parents are glaring at one another as they stand on opposite sides of the room, it feels somewhat reassuring that my dad believes me. Even though I'm sure he is still pissed about the video, he still feels compassion towards me.

“Help...” She scoffs. “We all need fucking help. I need help dealing with the both of you!” She shouts.

“Elaine, stop making this about you!” He growls, gripping my shoulder. “Don't you feel anything at all?”

My crying only worsens as they continue to shout back and forth at each other. And it is all my fault. Everything was falling apart before my eyes, and it feels as though the air in the room is getting vacuumed out as I grab at my chest.

“Stop.” I whisper, but no one hears me over their arguing. “Stop.” I try again more sternly, but nothing changes. “STOP!” I scream, causing both their mouths to close and focus on me.

Finally, there’s silence. Only the sounds of my increased heart beats and heavy breathing are heard. Rising from the chair, I wobble before I stand tall with my chin held high. “I'm sorry I ruined your lives. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect daughter you both wanted.” My mom eyes me suspiciously, but there's a small glimmer of hope when I notice her eyes alleviate some of their tightness.

“Charlotte…” My dad sighs, watching me with pity.

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