Page 98 of Bad Kind of Love

My eyes shut as I hear the anguish pour off his tongue.

“Just talk to me, please.” He stops a few feet away from me, looking crazed as he watches my movements.

I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t even want to be around him right now, but questions swirled around in my head that I needed answers to.

“Why did you lie to me?”

“I never lied to you.” He insists and I suddenly fill with rage again.

“You’re really going to stand there and tell me you didn’t lie to me? You lied about everything! About who you are and how you knew who I was this entire time!” I go off, feeling my pulse spike.

“Becca, listen to me.” He steps forward. “I fucked up, I know. I tried to keep my distance, but I couldn’t.”

“You should’ve tried harder.”

He flinches like I cut him deep, and I’m glad. The pain he was feeling was nothing compared to mine.

“Don’t push me away, Becca.” He shakes his head, taking another step towards me. “I love you.”

Closing my eyes, I feel more tears coming.

This was his first time saying I love you. I should feel cheery, and overjoyed by his confession but I only feel anger.

“This is so messed up.” I shake my head with my eyes still firmly shut. I hear his footsteps approach me from behind, and then suddenly his hand rests on the curve of my waist. My first instinct was to shrug him off, but the vulnerable state I was in made it nearly impossible.

“Please, just…. fuck.” He groaned, squeezing the spot on my waist while brushing his mouth against the shell of my ear. “I need you.”

“You’re the reason I sleep with a light on.” I confess, causing his grip on me to tense. “An eleven year old girl should never have to witness something like I did. You were the villain in my story and now you think that somehow you can be the good guy?”

That was never how it worked. The girl never fell for the bad guy. It always ended with her being swept off her feet by her savior and living happily ever after. It wasn’t the other way around.

If it was, there’d be a trail of hearts left behind.

“How could you think that any of this was okay?” I force my body to spin around, and catch his sorrowful stare.

“It’s not okay, nothing I did was okay.” He searches my eyes with hopeful intent, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of caving in.

Everything about our situation was so wrong. I felt used, betrayed but most of all, so fucking angry.

“But I can’t let you go, I won’t.” He demands caging me in between the car and his body. Leaning my head back, I glare up into the same eyes that tormented me as a child.

And to this day still do.

“You’ll have to when I leave for Georgia State.” I snarl, causing his dark brows to furrow in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“I was accepted into Georgia State College, but I didn’t know how to tell you. So, instead I came up with the brilliant idea to stay here and go to some fucking community college so I could be with you…. But now I realize that was a huge mistake. I need to get as far away from you as possible.”

My words were like a knife to his chest, pressing in deeper until his ears couldn’t bear anymore of my cruelness.

“Don’t do this.” He bends down as anger begins to take over. “I told you once we did this, you were mine. And if you think I’m giving up on us, you’re sorely fucking mistaken.”

His demeanor turns desperate, pinning me to the side of my car. I avert my eyes from his.

“I was never yours.” I mutter, feeling the steam of his breath dance across my face.

With flaring nostrils, he drops his arms from the car and takes a step backwards. I feel like I can breathe again, but my heart was too weak to do anything more.

“Go.” He growled. “Before I change my fucking mind.”

It didn’t take me long to hop inside my car and back out of the driveway. I couldn’t look at him as I pulled out, but the minute I was in drive, I peered out the rear view mirror.

And got one last look at the man who shattered my heart.

---