Page 43 of Bad Kind of Love

“If she was a good lay.” He responds but the laughter quickly dies down as they notice Mr. Fitzgerald is standing with his feet crossed, eerily quiet.

“Only a stupid man would risk his life for some pussy.” The crude words flew out of Mr. Fitzgerald’s mouth, sending a shock wave between my legs, almost as if my flesh was pulsating like it had its own heartbeat. “A smart man would steer clear.”

“Are you a smart man Mr. Fitzgerald?” Vicky purred, trying to capture his attention but that only seemed to backfire on her.

“As smart as they come.” He waves her off before grabbing a book off his desk. “Abelard was a stupid man who was blinded by love, and eventually paid for his sins. Blinded by the intelligence and beauty of a younger woman who, in the end, he was separated from because of their indiscretions.” He paces the room, with his brows furrowed. “Some argue their torrid affair was timeless, a true love story that lives on in their hundreds of letters, while others deem it as tragic. Just a perverse relationship between teacher and student.”

I watched as he continued to pace deep in thought. Without thinking, my mouth opens and words start to fly out.

“Perverse?” I scoff loudly, causing all eyes to land on me, including Mr. Fitzgerald. He appears almost shocked that I spoke up, staring at me like he’s making sure it was actually me who spoke. “There’s nothing perverse about two people being in love.”

I believed there were different types of love. Unconditional, affectionate and familiar, but romantic love was still something I wasn’t sure about. And something told me that Mr. Fitzgerald wasn’t someone who believed in it.

“What do you know about love?” His gruff voice shook the classroom as his dingy eyes took me in. Every student turned around in their seat to watch me squirm from his intimate question. While some stared with curious eyes, others couldn't help but grin in amusement. My eyes immediately dropped to the top of my desk, wishing I would have just kept my mouth shut.

“I...I…” I mumble hearing the laughter of others ring out. With my cheeks flaring, my gaze connects with Mr. Fitzgerald’s unreadable expression. Still standing with his feet crossed, his eyes are solely fixed on me.

“Love is a ticking time bomb, and in the end, it failed them both. What they had wasn’t romance, it was merely a sexual need that needed to be filled.” He stands a little taller as his words sink in. “An all-consuming lust that couldn’t be ignored. But love?” He shakes his head. “Love is nonexistent.”

Surely we couldn’t be talking about Abelard and Heloise anymore. This was about him, and what his perspective on love was. His once unreadable eyes are now heated, but in a way that I could only make out. Maybe he didn’t just feel hate towards me, maybe it was something else. Something that lingered within him that he desperately tried to hide, but at times, he would slip.

And I saw the raw hunger in them.

“Now.” He quickly averts his eyes from me. “Over the next couple weeks we will be reading and discussing their letters.”

Once his eyes leave mine, I feel almost angered but mostly confused. As he continued to speak to the class, I found myself drifting further and further away from his voice. Trying to formulate in my head what was really going on with Mr. Fitzgerald and me.

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