Page 50 of Hazard

“I’m the one going through this, not you. Don’t question me all the time. I can do this by myself. I have to do this by myself. You can’t help. No one can help. That’s the way life is. You have to be alone to be independent. I have to remember on my own.”

He frowned as more obvious questions flashed in his eyes. “Just be quiet, Leigh, for just one second. This isn’t easy on either one of us.” Above her he looked so genuine, tawny stubble shadowing his jaw, his heavy-lidded eyes, and his tousled hair. He looked like the dangerous SEAL he was. He took a hard breath. “I know you’re probably in emotional overload, but I need to tell you I’m in love with you. I’m sure of it, and I can’t stand by and do nothing while you’re going through this. I don’t care what happened in your past, because your parents are full of fucking shit. Everyone needs someone in their life. Everyone. So, fucking lean on me. It won’t hurt. I promise.”

She gasped sharply at his words. They slammed against her like a battering ram, and she wanted with all her might to respond, but she refused to give him her heart when it was in such turmoil. “You are a beautiful soul, and I’m so honored to have you say that to me. I am, Archer. I’m truly humbled.”

“Thank you, Leigh, but I didn’t say those words to put pressure on you. So, take your time in getting all this mind-fucking shit cleared, and we’ll go after Alzate when we find him. For now, just talk to me. Tell me what you're going through. That’s all.”

It was as if the floodgates opened, and she started talking about the TOC massacre, the death and chaos around her, how she couldn’t move because her Marine had jumped in front of her to save her from the blast, his last dying breath, all the bullets flying around, and the ones he’d taken for her. She talked about how terrified she was, how awful it was to find her picture in the dirt, realizing that all of this carnage, death, and destruction had been because they had wanted her. It poured out of her in a long stream of pain, remorse, and guilt.

She so desperately wanted to ask about his family, whether he had a wife, children, and the pressure inside her to ask Hazard what his name was sat on her chest like a lead weight unwilling to move so she could breathe.

Unburdening herself about the guilt she carried for the people who had died either defending her or following their mission to capture Alzate went a long way in relieving some of the pain and remorse she carried.

He didn’t say anything while she went through everything. And, as her words trailed off, he gathered her up in his arms and held her against him with such gentle strength, she had to hold back the tears. Closing her eyes against a nearly unbearable surge of feeling for him, she nestled deeper into his embrace. He shifted and draped his leg across hers, then pulled her flush against him. Leigh swallowed hard as he drew the sheet over them, then began to slowly rub her back. It was as if all she needed was his physical warmth to let go, and she released another ragged sigh and turned her face against his, his beard rough against her skin, and the trembling slowly abated. Her eyes grew heavy, and she fell asleep and when he moved, she clasped him and said, “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, kissing her softly on the head.

She stirred from sleep, not knowing why until she felt his distinct erection against her thigh. His breathing was even and slow, so that meant his erection was more about him being a man, than anything to do with desire.

Geez, that was so damn sexy, but what made her want him had nothing to do with his body—okay, maybe a little. It had more to do with who he was. He twitched a little, his beard scraping against her as he turned his head, his breath warm against her neck as he muttered her name.

He wasn’t fully awake, and the sound of her name did unbearable things to her heart, filling her with unbearable tenderness. She slipped her hand over his bare chest, across his hard abdomen, and beneath the hem of his boxer briefs, pushing them down, then she stripped off her clothes, needing him so badly she couldn’t breathe.

His breath rushed out when she straddled him, and those thick lashes lifted from those sleepy, aroused blue eyes. “I need you, Leigh,” he whispered.

Shaken to the core by the agony of need in his voice, her body primed for the feel of him, she clutched him.

His chest expanded when she rubbed her wet heat against him. “I need you, too, you sweet man,” she whispered, her voice breaking from the frenzy of hot, surging desire and tenderness. Hazard roughly tightened his hold and made a low sound, as she guided him into her. He whispered her name, locking her hips against his as he thrust uncontrollably in response to her tormenting rhythm. A low sound rumbled from him as he thrust into her with each drag of her hips.

“Leigh,” he whispered raggedly. “Take everything I have. It’s yours.”

Hauling in a ragged breath, he dragged his hands up her back, releasing his hold on her hips, and she launched an assault on his senses as she settled on him. A tremor coursed through him, and she felt him revel in the way she was loving him, relentlessly, savagely, limitlessly. His surrender was as beautiful as he was as she experienced a rush of emotion so overwhelming that it left her shaking, but she forced her body to respond, moving against him, pushing him fiercely into sensations. The memory of having her mouth on him in the shower, the way he’d groaned and moved against her made her slide harder and deeper on him, the sensations in her clit tightening with a sharp ride into her release.

She lowered her head and captured his mouth. Wanting to give him all she had to give, Leigh yielded her mouth fully to him, and he shuddered again, and twisted beneath her, his face contorting in unbearable pleasure. His words were barely coherent as he ground out, “Fuck, Leigh.”

She rose, drawing him helplessly with her, and he went rigid beneath her, suspended at the very edge of release. Overwhelmed by all the feelings she had for him, she leaned back, giving him the full depth of her as he arched up, tremors coursing through him as he climaxed deep inside her.

With protectiveness welling up in her, she cradled his face against her shoulder, holding him with every ounce of comfort she possessed as the aftermath left him shaking.

She held him like that for several moments, feeling so surrounded by him that it was almost as though he had drawn her inside his very soul. And she closed her eyes, soaking up the feeling of being loved by him.

Without fail, he held her like he was holding her now, as though he, too, needed that moment of quiet physical closeness, and it was as important to her as the sex. This was their space, and it should be free of infringements, interruptions, distractions. But that terrible guilt remained with her, making her mute, making her refuse to take the final step and ask him for the help she needed.

When morning dawned, the sky was heavy and overcast. Leigh had been unable to sleep after Hazard had confessed to her that he loved her, then that uncontrolled lovemaking that had followed. True to his nature, he hadn’t pushed her into responding, and he hadn’t been holding himself from her because of it.

Her whole foundation shook.

That wasn’t only love. That was unconditional love with no expectations or demands. Just an open, giving man who accepted her for who she was without pressure. It was such an alien feeling, such a wonder she couldn’t wrap her heart or her head around it.

He still gave her everything he had, and it humbled her that she couldn’t do the same. She couldn’t seem to connect those three words with what she was feeling.

Of course it was wonderful, exhilarating, thrilling, and terrified her to the deepest core of her soul. That something that had been building in her since the day she met Hazard coalesced into this warm, harmonizing feeling that she wanted to hang onto, but something dark and intent worked against it. Maybe if she didn’t have so much on her mind, she’d be able to work out that tangle and get to the answers she needed within herself to reciprocate his love.

He loved her?

How was that possible after how difficult she’d been, how exacting, and stubborn, and a pain in his ass? How could she reconcile this wonderful feeling with the jagged and churning mixed emotions she couldn’t understand or decipher? How could she return his love purely, honestly, and without any restraint when all those emotions posed such an insurmountable barrier?

She moved away from his warm, muscled body and slipped out of bed. The importance of his feelings toward her did force her into a decision: accept what he offered and compromise what she needed to compromise to be with him. It wouldn’t be an easy commitment, but she couldn’t stop thinking how fulfilling, substantive, and real all of it would be…with him.

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