Page 38 of Liaising Kai

The vessel cut through the waves in pursuit of the escaping boat.

“Well, I guess we know their intentions,” Carter said, and Davis grinned as the salty air blew over the deck. He could see a silhouette not far in front of them, nothing but a dark shadow on the water.

Over the loudspeaker, the booming voice of the captain ordered the vessel to comply with his orders, and it looked like the boat was going to assent as it turned in the water and headed back toward them. Only moments later, Davis realized that the vessel was traveling too fast. A jolt against Sea Coral’s hull sent him forward, and he would have plummeted off the cutter’s deck into the wreckage of the ship below them. But Carter caught him around the waist. Braced against the rail, he held on as the Sea Coral settled. The other boat wasn’t so lucky. As crewmembers jumped from the sinking ship, its hull slipped below the surface and sank from sight.

“Our food is here,” Kai said, and Davis jerked awake from sleep, the dream fading. He blinked at Kai, and she smiled. “Hello there, sleepyhead.”

He took a deep breath and stretched, trying to find his emotional footing after remembering how Carter had saved his life that fateful night so long ago.

Pendleton had put them up in one of their Del Mar beach cottages with a bedroom, kitchenette, dining area, living room, and a sweet patio, the ocean right out their front door. It was part of the Marine Corps recreational facilities open to military and DoD patrons. The director pulled some strings to house them on base until the threat against their lives had been resolved.

He clenched his jaw against the pain and the sorrow that engulfed him as memories of Carter rolled over him. Hauling in a ragged breath, he sat there, coming to terms with the fact that he would never see Carter again and the nagging guilt that he’d been unable to save him from the events put in motion by Eduardo. Emotion caught in his throat and stung his eyes. He blinked several times.

“Davis?” Kai said, setting down the food on the coffee table and settling next to him on the sofa. “What is it?”

“A dream,” he said, his voice thick with unshed tears.

She rubbed his shoulders, and her sympathy made such a big difference, the comfort of her touch soothing the building grief. “About?”

“Carter. The night he saved my life.”

“Aw,” she said, closing her eyes, her throat working, and it was his turn to soothe her memory of Nate. Her loss was as big and empty as his was with Carter.

His throat closed up on him again, and he closed his eyes, a surge of hard emotion cutting through him. Carter had seen Davis at his lowest points in life, especially his feelings for Kai. His friend was the only one who knew how he felt about her. He was going to miss him like hell, and it was suddenly hitting him that Carter was truly gone. It was so fresh, and so devastating—hell, the man hadn’t even been buried yet—that Davis dropped his face in his hands, his chest heaving with the reality of what he’d lost.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, rubbing his back, but the raw feelings wouldn’t go away. He rose and said softly, “I’m going to take a shower.” Her features went tight. He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn’t right now. It was too much of an internal storm. Before he went, he crouched down. “Set out the food, and I’ll be right back.” His voice was uneven, his heart beating hard in his chest, knowing that telling this woman everything he was feeling was all that mattered to him. “We’ll talk. I just need?—”

“I know,” she said, that stiff look on her face fading as she radiated her understanding. “I know exactly what you’re feeling.” She heaved a painful sigh. “I’ll get the food ready. Go.”

Trying to deal with the sudden empty feeling clawing through him, he headed toward the bedroom. Weariness washing over him, he undid the buttons of his shirt with one hand, then pulled it free of his jeans, stripping the shirt off as he entered the room. This case had been so fast-paced. It had only been two days since the death of Carter, Nate, the task force, and all the other deaths that weighed on his soul, especially Roberto and his family. Fresh guilt and remorse made him grit his teeth. It just drove home to him how control was an illusion, a bitter pill to swallow. Hell, they had been to Ecuador and back in such a short span of time, it almost felt unreal, like the dream he’d just had about Carter.

The shower would be quick, but these feelings filling him up were going to linger for some time. That was just the reality of grief.

Kai sat there for a brief moment, working at not being sensitive to Davis needing time to himself. She truly understood it, and he said he would talk when he returned, which made all the clamoring in her subside. This sharing was as intimate as making love with him, and that experience was hard to forget, even as her body tingled with the memory. The man was so wonderful and knew how to get pleasure and receive pleasure from her body and his own. Maybe that was because he had such an open and giving nature.

Everything after their conversation about Allison, her husband, and her parents had been so intense and crazy, she hadn’t found one moment to unpack all the stuff that Davis had said to her.

All of it was about forgiveness, and maybe that was the true road she needed to travel. Because she had alienated herself from them out of necessity, but how long was too long? Especially after the revelation that she had blamed them to deflect her devastating thoughts that she had been the one to blame. All the memories of how she’d felt washed over her as she removed the square cartons of food from the bag onto the coffee table. She walked to the kitchen and grabbed plates and silverware, thinking back then that she had been a bad mother for wanting to spend an afternoon with her friends, to get back those feelings of being carefree. She set the plates down and sat down, letting the emotions cascade over her. Davis had been right. She hadn’t been a bad mother. She’d done everything she could to care for Alllison, and she and her husband, Travis, were determined to make a life for themselves.

She found the gratitude she had for her parents’ acceptance of their plan and for the way they opened their home and their hearts to Travis and Allison. They had loved that little girl as much as Kai had. She had to chalk up her reaction to it all to her youth and her inability to accept her own role in the tragedy. She’d done nothing wrong.

And neither had her parents.

Davis had once again spoken the truth. It had been an accident.

They had lost so much…their grandchild, their son-in-law, and with a painful catch in her heart…their daughter. Kai had been wrong to cut them out. She saw that now but wasn’t sure how she could make amends. So much time and water had rushed under that bridge…but there was still a bridge there to cross if she had the courage to do it.

She heard the water come on in the shower, and her thoughts shifted to the man who had come into her life and turned it upside down. Her vision blurred, so many emotions breaking loose inside her that she couldn’t distinguish one from another.

It would be so easy to bolt, to deny what she was beginning to believe was possible…that she was in love with him, had been for some time. That her fear of getting involved with him had everything to do with her fear of letting go of what was holding her back, jettisoning the weight of the baggage from her past to clear a path for her future. Something she was beginning to see was not only possible but something she desperately wanted.

She craved to be that person so desperately. If only she could find that level ground she needed to stand on to be worthy of such a gift.

Dealing with the painful grief at the loss of his best friend was a personal matter. She was well aware of that concept because she was dealing with her own loss. But even though they had that in common, she wanted to offer him the comfort that he so generously gave to her, and when he came out of the bedroom dressed in nothing but a soft pair of sweatpants, the look on his face broadcast loud and clear that he was ready for that comfort.

He settled on the sofa next to her, his gaze heavy on her.

“Why don’t you tell me about Carter and your time in the Coast Guard? How that all came about.”

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