Page 25 of Liaising Kai

She reached out and covered the back of his hand. He turned it over and squeezed her fingers. The sushi was fresh, lemony and so delicious. She ate another two disks, sighing about the food, and the warmth of Davis. He was so caring and kind.

She looked out to the river, and it struck her how peaceful it felt to be with Davis. It occurred to her that maybe her attempts to control what was uncontrollable was the very trait that was holding her back. That maybe trusting herself, her own ability, sense of direction, and intuition were her strong points, something she’d ignored for many years of deep pain and loss that she’d held onto for far too long. She couldn’t imagine her daughter, if she had grown to adulthood, wouldn’t want her mother to lose herself in her grief.

Davis brought her back with a squeeze of her hand. “Hey? You are a million miles away.”

“You are a very decent man, Davis. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you over the years.” She looked back out to the river. “My only defense is that I fear loss more than I think I fear happiness. I’m not sure I’ll ever overcome it, and you deserve so much more.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? We’re under a lot of stress right now, Kai. It’s probably the worst time to get involved with each other, but I don’t give a damn.”

His unapologetic statement made her smile, and his smile was huge, bright and so sexy. She laughed. “You are something.” She shook her head.

“Am I? I can’t get past you,” he said huskily.

She blushed at his compliment and the way he looked at her, like he saw everything just the way she was and wasn’t intimidated. She missed having a significant relationship with anyone. The fact that Davis could have just slept with her and moved on wasn’t lost on her. He’d resisted when she knew he was as turned on as she was. If she couldn’t tell this man the truth about herself, who could she tell? Keeping secrets pushed people away, and she wasn’t comfortable with that anymore, not with Davis. She trusted him and owed him that much. The man had risked his life for her but bringing him into her past would put the same burden on him. She could barely think about it and had never put it into words.

“You are quite the charmer.”

His face hardened a little, and his shoulders tightened. “I’m not charming you, Kai.”

His sincerity and honesty were other things about him that bowled her over. She realized that she might have hurt his feelings. “I’m sorry,” she said, leaning forward, clasping his hand tighter. “Sometimes I’m an idiot and I don’t know how to take a compliment.”

“I don’t gaslight, snowball, or charm women.” The thread of tension in his tone meant that he was insulted, and she realized it was because he wasn’t sure of her. “I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m completely honest with you. I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

She immediately regretted her stupid knee-jerk reaction. She took his hand in both of hers and leaned forward. Davis was so steadfast, remaining constantly and consistently emotionally connected. To her. It truly humbled her and made her feel even more like a jerk. “Of course you don’t. I know that in my bones, and I knew that the night you refused me. I was so angry that you wouldn’t give me my way, and the memory of hitting you is just reprehensible. I’m truly sorry for saying what I said, and for any other time I was insensitive or just plain mean.”

“Sometimes I bring that out in women,” he said, then grinned, pure mischief and male sexuality sparkling in his eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief at his ability to turn the tables on her.

She gave him a narrow-eyed look. “You keep me on my toes, Davis.”

He grinned again, the laugh lines around his eyes deepened, a sensual gleam appearing in his gaze.

He ran one finger across the back of her hand, his touch stirring and sensitizing, his gaze turning more intimate. “Don’t be so smug. I’m not a pushover.”

He laughed then, threw back his head, and released a loud, rich sound that settled inside her. “And payback is a bitch?”

“Yeah.” She lost the moment to tell him what she’d wanted to tell him as he rose, but unable to go back to work without a moment of sharing, she turned to him, stopping him in his tracks. “Thank you for being so…you. There are things I want to tell you, things difficult for me to say and to think about, but I want to tell you.”

He stared at her with a look that made her pulse falter, the glint in his eyes intensifying to something more real than she was sure she could deal with. Kai suddenly felt shaky inside.

How had she lost herself? When did it happen? Had she used her sense of duty, feelings of accountability, her uncertainty to cease to exist as a woman? She looked at him with a jolt of realization. He was watching her with an odd look in his eyes. He reached out and caught her by the back of the neck, giving her a little shake. “That’s damn brave of you,” he said huskily. “I’ll be all ears.”

She stared at him, suddenly dangerously close to tears. He was making her assess everything in her life, especially all the things she’d lost because she had disappeared from her own life and hadn’t even realized it.

He slipped his arm around her once they exited the restaurant, and that realization haunted her as they made their way back to the precinct. Once inside, he dropped his arm, all business, as they headed toward the interrogation room.

Shots rang out from the room, and everyone froze for half a second, then Davis took off, Kai following closely behind him. He rushed through the closed door, and Kai dreaded what they would find.

Roberto was slumped over the table, a wire around his neck, his glassy eyes fixed and still, a small amount of blood dripping on the table. Cesar was in the corner, his gun lying next to him, a neat hole in his chest, his eyes open and staring, and Dario was on the other side of the room, his gun lying limply in his hand, a telltale red stain on his upper arm, seeping into the tattered edges of his uniform sleeve.

Davis rushed over to him. “What the hell happened?” he demanded, ripping his sleeve to see what kind of damage the bullet had done to his arm. She could see it was a graze. He turned to one of the officers. “Get a first aid kit.”

“I came in and Cesar…I was too late…Roberto was already dead. I pulled my weapon and we fired almost at the same time. He murdered Roberto.” There was a soft murmur throughout the lingering cops. Then Davis stiffened and he rose abruptly.

“Did you send someone to pick up Roberto’s wife and children?”

“Yeah,” Dario said, his breathing harsh from the wound and adrenaline.

He looked at the desk sergeant. “Have you heard from them?”

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