Page 35 of The Match Faker

‘Fake Boyfriend! Did his publicist call the paps? I was surprised at the pics. I thought you’d get them to take a more flattering photo. Oh… I get it. You wanted it to look like you’d genuinely been caught out. Smart.’

‘What? No! We didn’t arrange it. At least I don’t think so…’ No. Liam and I weren’t friends anymore, but he wouldn’t want to humiliate me.

‘Why were you picking your bum?’

‘It was those awful knickers Boris bought. They were wedged up my bum and I was trying to pull them out! I didn’t know I was going to get papped. And I forgot to put on mascara at home yesterday, so I used an old one I found here and it didn’t agree with me. Hence the panda eyes.’

‘Ohhhh. Well… don’t worry. Today’s news is tomorrow’s chip paper.’

‘But the story’s online too!’

‘Nothing you can do about it now. Just make a note to adjust your underwear inside the house from now on. And anyway, there’s no shame in it. There’s not a woman on this planet who can’t relate to their mascara running or having an involuntary wedgie. And look on the bright side.’

‘There’s a bright side?’ My eyes widened. ‘The only bright side would be if the entire internet disappeared.’

‘Course! Now the world knows you and Liam are an item. The first seed of your relationship has been sown. And you’re one step closer to winning Matchmaker of the Year!’

True. The photo wasn’t planned. But it did hint that we were together, which was exactly what I needed.

Plus, seeing as we were focusing on the positives, at least people weren’t ripping me or my appearance to shreds. They put my sorry state down to us having a good time in the sheets. It could’ve been worse.

But this was a warning. I needed to be on high alert at all times. Who knew when the next pap might strike? We had to be better prepared.

It was only a matter of time before they started asking questions. And I didn’t know anything about my ‘boyfriend’ apart from the fact that he was a promiscuous actor who made mediocre action films and liked to take his shirt off at every opportunity to make money.

People would want to know not just how we’d met, but what I saw in him. Of course, as much as I disliked him, you’d have to be blind not to see he was hot, so they’d assume it was his looks.

Thanks to those photos, they’d also think we’d already slept together. But there’d need to be more to it than just sex.

Ugh. I shouldn’t even be thinking of Liam and us having sex. It made me want to take a shower. Not a cold one to cool my libido down. I needed to wash away those dirty thoughts. I’d never sleep with someone like him.

Anyway, for this relationship to look real, we’d need some common ground. Shared history was a good start, but we had to do better.

I picked up my phone to send Liam an emergency message, then sighed. I’d had two missed calls from him already.

I really needed to change his name in my contacts. ‘My Hot Boyfriend’ was so lame.

Me

Saw the photos. We need to meet. ASAP!

He came online. After a few seconds he started typing.

My Hot Boyfriend

Yeah. I can do tomorrow night. But I should come to yours.

No way.

At school, I’d had a bright future ahead of me. I wasn’t the smartest. I didn’t get top marks and excel at everything like my sister, but I did okay.

Teachers thought Liam was the class clown and would never amount to anything. He’d had the last laugh, though. Liam was the school’s most successful student. Ever. And now they didn’t shut up about it.

Liam knowing my business was in trouble and my love life was crap was bad enough. I didn’t want him to see the shithole I was living in too.

Me

No. Too many nosey neighbours. Can you come to my office instead? You can come through the back door.

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