Page 134 of The Match Faker

‘Yeah. Shame you can’t stay longer.’

‘I know, man. But I gotta get back to my lady.’

Hearing Nate saying he had to get back to Melody stirred something inside my chest.

The realisation hit me that I’d never have someone to come home to. My stomach twisted. There’d never be someone at home missing me and counting down the hours until I came through the door.

I’d almost had that. With Mia.

Almost.

But almost didn’t count.

‘You thinking about her?’ Nate’s voice jolted me out of my thoughts.

‘What?’

‘I said, are you thinking about your lady?’

‘I don’t have one,’ I said quickly.

‘So you weren’t thinking about Mia?’

‘Maybe. Doesn’t matter.’

‘I know you’re scared to admit how you feel. I was too. Me and Melody used to hate each other. I fancied her, but didn’t want a relationship. I’d planned to stay single forever. Remember, apart from that one slip-up, I was always a one-night stand kinda guy. I was only supposed to hook up with Mel once at my sister’s wedding, but then… we just had a connection. After that it was game over. There was no way I was gonna be without her.’

It was like Nate was inside my head. I thought I’d be a bachelor for life too. And my connection with Mia was off the charts. Nate’s life was more straightforward, though.

‘Your situation was different. At least you lived in the same country. I want to be with Mia. The truth is, I love her, but…’ My chest tightened.

‘But what?’

‘I’m worried I’ll fuck things up. That things won’t work out.’

‘That’s normal. I was worried about getting hurt again, but you love her. You’ve been back in LA for weeks and she’s still stuck in your head and your heart, right?’

‘I think about her all the time.’

‘That’s what love does to you, bro. I know you’re scared, but take the leap. Sometimes you gotta choose love over fear.’

Hearing those words sent a jolt of electricity straight to my heart.

Sometimes you gotta choose love over fear.

For so long I’d held back my heart. I’d told myself it was because of what had happened with my parents. Their relationship hadn’t lasted, so mine wouldn’t either.

I’d kept everyone I’d dated at a distance because I didn’t want to get hurt or go through the trauma of a break-up. Or worse, divorce.

Now that I thought about it, I think I’d put a cage around my heart because I wasn’t just trying to protect it. I was preserving it. Waiting to give it to the right person. To the one person that I knew deserved it. The person I already loved.

Mia.

I’d always loved her. And I knew that my heart belonged to her, so I’d fucked around because I wasn’t willing to give it to anyone else.

I hoped that one day we’d find each other again. And we did. But then I stupidly let her go. Because I was feeling things I’d never felt. Emotions that were deeper than I’d thought was possible.

I loved Mia so much I was afraid that if we continued with our relationship and it ended, it’d destroy me.

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