Page 49 of Save the Game

Every cell in my body is recoiling from this, and if I thought my heart was pounding before it is nothing compared to now. “Max…I wasn’t worried about this. The reason I kept saying we should take things slow was because I didn’t want to scare you. This…do you really think I didn’t want to have sex with you because of this?”

“It was a possibility that occurred to me this week,” he admits.

“Well, you’re wrong. I don’t know what else to say except that you’re wrong.” He still hasn’t looked over at me, and if I thought the gesture would be well received, I’d go over and turn his chin myself.

“Okay.”

“Maxy,” I plead, voice soft, and finally succeed in getting his eyes back on mine. The corners of his mouth barely move, but it’s the barest hint of a smile and I take it as an invitation to slide my chair across the floor until I’m close enough to count his eyelashes. “I’ve become extremely attached to you at a ridiculously accelerated rate, and that has nothing to do with what happened to you at that party but who you are. I don’t know how I could possibly convince you of that, but if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them.”

I hand the printed lab results back to him and watch as he carefully folds them back up and they disappear into his pocket. The implication behind that gesture still has me feeling queasy, and makes me want to pull Max into the kind of hug that would show all the things my tongue is too dumb to say.

“I don’t need you to convince me,” he says, and now he pulls out his real smile. “After you left, I went to Coach Mackenzie’s house to freak out and he set me straight about you. Or, he gave me enough hints that I was able to figure it out on my own. Anthony Lawson was there—do you know him? Plays hockey in the NHL? I had a panic attack on their couch and then he made me dinner and gave me a hoodie. It was quite an experience.”

“I’m going to have to kick his ass, aren’t I?” I scoot the chair closer still, because I’m fucking dying to touch him and I want him within easy reach.

“You might,” Max says gravely. “He rubbed my back.”

“A back rub and he gave you his clothes? Forget kicking his ass, I’m going to bury the body in the woods.”

He laughs, and I almost cry in relief when he reaches out and touches a finger to the corner of my eye. “Ah, Luke, you’ve been sad,” he sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Before I can second guess myself, I leave the chair and bend to pull him into a hug, lowering to my knees in between his spread legs. It’s awkward and a little bit uncomfortable, but I can feel his shoulder blades through the fabric of his shirt and there is copper hair in my mouth, so fuck all the rest. He hugs me back, face buried in my neck as he takes the most dramatic inhale I’ve ever heard.

“How do you always smell like sunshine,” he mumbles, “it can’t be normal.”

“What does sunshine smell like, anyway?”

“You,” he says, and I laugh because that makes no damn sense at all.

“Luke.”

“Max.”

“Do you have plans for tonight?” He asks.

“Well, I’d been planning on wallowing in self-pity, maybe taking a shower and crying a little bit. If I was feeling adventurous, I was going to go upstairs and yell at my roommates for no reason. But now, since you’re here, I suppose I’ll have to rethink all of that.”

He huffs a laugh and tightens his arms. “Is it rude of me to ask if I can stay over?”

“Have I not made it clear how distraught I’ll be if you leave?”

He pulls out of the hug and I sit back on my heels, resting my hands on his knees and looking up at his pale, tired face. I wonder if he managed a single night of sleep this week, and whether it was the nightmares or me keeping him awake. Using his legs to push myself to standing, I hold both hands out to pull him to his feet.

“Have you eaten today?”

“Yeah, Marcos and I grabbed food before he dropped me off here.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, surprised that The Grouch was on board with this particular plan. Although, perhaps he’d be on board with any plan that made Max happy. “Did you bring anything with you?”

“No,” he says, shrugging. “I didn’t want to assume that you’d forgive me and packing an overnight bag felt like tempting fate.”

“You should have packed the bag,” I tell him firmly. “That’s all right though, you can wear my clothes and I got you a toothbrush. I know how serious you are about dental hygiene.”

“Thanks,” he laughs, and I let go of him in favor of stripping out of my jeans and t-shirt. I don’t miss the way he watches me, or the way heat climbs into his face.

“I need to shower quick,” I tell him. “You’ll be all right?”

It takes him so long to answer, I wonder if he’s going to request to join me. But it’s still my Maxy, even if I haven’t seen him for a week—he’s not quite bold enough to strip down in a brightly lit room and shower with me, no matter what he wants to do.

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