Page 105 of Our Own Light

Floyd found himself answering without the slightest bit of hesitation, wanting nothing more than to be with Ollie and to relieve him of the sadness he was feeling. “Yeah, Ollie, I’d like that.”

“Really?” Ollie’s eyes started tearing. “Well, where? I think I have enough money to take us wherever you want within reason. Oh my God, I still can’t believe it. Really?”

“Yeah, really. I can’t stand the thought of not spending nights with you no more. I want a better life for us, too.” He pushed his chair out and tugged on Ollie’s hand, coaxing him to come closer, and as soon as Ollie stood, Floyd pulled him onto his lap. “But I won’t take your money.”

“Ugh, sweetheart, please stop being stubborn about money.”

“Well, I suppose I could let you help a little, but I been responsible for Effie and Jo for forever. I been the one to take care of them all these years.”

“Which is why you should allow me to help. I want to take care of you. And that wonderful family of yours. Effie is such a treasure to let us be together. I owe her everything—more wealth than I could ever even dream of cobbling together.”

“I’ll think on it.”

“Stubborn as a mule,” Ollie said with a sigh. “Alright, yes, please think about it.”

Floyd looked up at Ollie, who bent down to nuzzle their noses together, and then Floyd rested his head against Ollie’s chest, letting his thoughts wander as Ollie stroked his hair.

“Are you scared of starting over?” Ollie asked.

“Yeah, a little,” Floyd said. He took a slow breath in and out through his nose, trying to calm his hammering heart. “It’s hard not knowing our future. Like whether we’ll find a place where we can be together. Or whether we can make a new home for the four of us.”

“It’s like our path forward is completely unknowable. Like we’re inside of a rickety coal elevator, heading for the bottom of the mine.” Ollie cupped Floyd’s chin and lifted it, forcing Floyd to meet his eyes. “But maybe that’s fine for us, sweetheart. We’re coal miners. We make our own light.” Ollie smiled sweetly. “We’ll make it through.”

“I hope so,” Floyd said, smiling back at him and feeling some of his fear fade. “I feel like I can make it if I have you with me, Ollie.”

“You’ll have me forever.”

Floyd pulled Ollie in for a kiss. Ollie’d have him forever, too.

***

One hour later, Floyd left for home. He and Ollie thought that they ought to skip work so that Floyd could talk to Effie about everything. Floyd had come up with an idea for where they all could move to, but Effie would need to agree to it. If Effie wanted to stay in Rock Creek, then they would stay, even if it meant that he and Ollie would have to live without seeing each other as much.

By the time Floyd reached the house, Jo had already left for school. Effie was up on a step stool reorganizing one of the cupboards. When she heard him come in, she looked over her shoulder, one of her eyebrows raised inquisitively.

“Why’re you back here so early? Did you forget some of your work supplies?”

“Nah, me and Ollie ain’t working today. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Oh.” Effie climbed off the stool. “What is it?”

“Let’s sit for this,” Floyd said, heading to the couch. “Ain’t nothing bad. Don’t worry.”

“Alright.”

After sitting beside him, Effie smoothed out her dress. Floyd took one of her hands.

“I want you to know that our family comes first. Always.”

“Floyd, you’re scaring me a little.”

“But I need to tell you that I feel a forever kind of way about Ollie. It’s why I been spending so much time with him, staying over and such, but I need to be more present for you and Jo, too. So, now I’m trying to work out how I can both be with Ollie and make sure you never feel like you’re raising Jo all by yourself.”

“I never feel that way.”

“I know, but I feel that way. I hate that I sometimes can’t make it back before she heads off to school. I hate that I’m not here for her when she wakes up in the night.”

“You’re here for supper and evenings and weekends.”

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