Page 96 of Perfect Pursuit

“There are ways you could have told her without blowing up national security if you’d come to me, but no. Not the great Ethan Kensington. Gee, doesn’t this sound familiar. Isn’t this why you quit the Agency in the first place? Found taking orders too restricting—that is the line of bullshit you threw at me, wasn’t it?”

I wince, knowing every word he’s hurling at me with perfect precision is the truth. There’s no use in trying to argue because to try to use words against my former boss in this mood is fruitless. “She’s in the clear?”

“She’s so far clear, you have no idea.” Thorn’s anger is so hot I can feel it singe through the phone lines. Not since Q?za went missing years ago have I heard him this livid. He takes several deep breaths before he regulates himself. “Consider yourself blessed if she ever speaks to you again.”

Something sours in my stomach and tries to crawl its way up my throat. “Thorn…”

“Let alone forgive you.”

“Tell me,” I plead.

“You don’t deserve to know. And don’t try to get into her file. I’ve already had Q?za flag anything to do with her or her family.”

That makes me shoot straight up in my chair. He wouldn’t do that without good reason. What is it that Thorn knows that I don’t? He doesn’t pause long enough for me to ask, instead demanding, “Did she share anything useful with you?”

Just her agony, her devastation. My voice is robotic when I give him a “No.”

“Why not, Ethan?”

The memory of the way I tore into Fallon causes me to rub my hand against my chest in agony. For the past few days, I’d thought the organ that used to live there was gone. It turns out it was just in stasis while I mourned. What must Fallon be feeling?

“Why would Ms. Brookes be feeling anything other than an extreme desire to learn how you knew she was working there?” Thorn’s low warning can be heard across the phone lines.

I swallow to shift the lump in my throat so I can respond. “She meant everything to me, Thorn.” That’s not quite right. Fallon is everything. I just forgot that for a moment in my very real fury over who she’s been working for.

How she’s been supporting herself.

Instead of giving her a chance to explain, I just went for the jugular. Knowing Fallon the way I do and her innate honesty, it wouldn’t surprise me if her mother already knows about her daughter’s association with Devil’s Lair.

As honest as the day is long, Fallon wouldn’t do something so farfetched as blackmail a Middle Eastern royal family member. Christ, I open the file and look at her access rights. She didn’t have the ability to see who her clients were.

Then what drove me to attack her? The answer is as simple as my racing heart. I was jealous of her sharing even that little bit of herself with strangers—even with me.

I face-palm myself and want to see if it’s a physical possibility to kick my own ass.

“I’m going to kick it for you,” Thorn grunts, letting me know I’ve been speaking some of my thoughts aloud.

“I almost wish you would.”

“You failed to do what I ordered you to do and wait for confirmation. Hence, you blew what could have been a necessary in.”

I cringe before admitting, “You’re right.”

“And Ethan?”

“Yes?”

“Just for the record, had you waited until Q?za confirmed, you would have learned your Fallon was at her museum job for every single threat. We confirmed they were sent from inside the building when she wasn’t within ten miles of the place. Maybe you wouldn’t have blown up your personal relationship with the pretty little blond in the meanwhile.” Thorn lodges the knife he’s holding into my heart a little more before he disconnects the call.

I lean forward and brace my elbows against my knees knowing I didn’t just cut my nose off to spite my face. I carved my heart out and ran over it back and forth with a tank. I can only imagine what Fallon must be feeling if I’m feeling this way.

Pulling up our text string, I send her one.

Ethan:

I’m sorry, Fal. It was a huge shock.

Ethan:

---