Page 45 of Free to Fall

Knowing my twin is on a fact-finding mission, I don’t stop him. Even as I earned the pet name of “Queen Gore,” Jon earned the moniker “Steamroller” from the same paparazzi outlet. All of us in the family have been run over by him at least once in his life when he was set on a course he couldn’t be deterred from. Once he sets his mind to something, nothing and no one is going to stop him.

Not even his twin, who is younger by a mere six minutes.

“You know, Dad would say to play nice with your sister,” I remind him once we’re seated on the bench outside the store.

He gives me a crooked smile—one I know is just for family. Unfortunately, when I used to visit him at Harvard, I had a front seat to the one he’d give the co-eds to cause them to drop to their knees—sometimes literally. Jon reminisces, “Then he would threaten to take away my hot cocoa if I didn’t. The worst would be if he threatened to take away Aunt Cori’s desserts.”

I arch a brow in his direction. “Don’t make me take away your dessert, Jon. Please leave this to someone else. I couldn’t bear it if you were hurt because of me.” Of course, that makes me think of Bailey—knowing it was my speaking to Gino and Pauli Tiberi that brought her to the condition she’s in. Which leads me to thoughts of Liam. I glance away so my twin won’t notice my blush.

He doesn’t reply to my angst. Instead, Jon cups my chin, turning my face back to his before declaring, “There isn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for you, Laura.”

“The same goes. At least, I’m trying to,” I retort stubbornly.

“Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I haven’t been briefed on everything that’s happened to you? Do you think I don’t know how twisted you’re feeling inside over all of it?”

I open my mouth and close it, the last comment digging deeper than the others.

He links our fingers. “You’re a part of me; I’m a part of you. Of all people, do you think you could hide from me? That I don’t know everything you’re suffering?”

Rapidly blinking doesn’t work. A single tear tracks down my cheek. I brush it away impatiently. “No.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Jon ...,” I begin before I give up and just rest my head on his shoulder. “Because I brought this down on myself.”

“Like hell you did,” he snaps.

“Maybe if I’d delivered the news differently. Maybe if I hadn’t approached them without security. Maybe ...”

“Maybe, shoulda, coulda, wouldas.”

“You sound like Uncle Phil.”

“Laura, look at me.”

I tip my head back and find everything I’ve had from my family the last three months reflected in my brother’s face. “It’s not your fault. You’re one of the best damn doctors in the country. Few would have tried to have save Aldo Tiberi and of those few, even less would have got him into that OR. You did everything right. Get back to work and let us guard the hospital to keep it safe.”

I lean my head on his shoulder and whisper, “There’s the reason I’m not going back yet.”

“Because you feel guilty? Hasn’t Alice helped at all?”

“I’m always going to feel guilty, Jon.” I hold up my hand to stave off his interruption. “Feeling guilt isn’t what’s holding me back. It’s knowing I can help make up for some of that guilt by working with this little girl.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“That’s fact.”

He asks the question I’ve been chasing over and over into the night. “Does Payne know about your stalker?”

I shake my head; fear I’m terrified I’m going to choke on bleeding through my expression. “Dad and Uncle Colby think it’s better if he doesn’t. They only approach when I’m alone.”

“So they’re never leaving you alone,” Jon surmises.

“Something like that.” I give myself a moment to think before sharing, “I’d sooner die before letting someone else become a victim because of what happened that night, Jon.”

He gets quiet when he picks up one of my hands with my amaryllis tattoo woven on the inside of my pinky. “I know you won’t.”

A bell rings above the shop and Kalie steps out with a shopping bag and a wide smile. “Did you get her to spill her guts about Liam, Jon?”

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