Page 154 of Free to Fall

Then we talked until sunrise.

In addition to needing time to finish her residency and to rebuild her relationships within the ER, Laura said we should “Wait to get married. It’s what’s best for Bailey and for us.”

I didn’t reply, just stroked her hair off her face while she gathered her thoughts together. Then she concluded, “We three need to time to heal, Liam. And a party doesn’t make the last few months go away.”

Pulling her against the length of my body, I agreed with her. “We collapsed because we never fully let our wounds close—on both sides.”

“Exactly.” Through the moonlight, her eyes probed mine. “I want this to be right for you and me, but most especially, Bailey. Her heart has been through too much.”

In agreement, we decided on a long engagement. It was a year to the day she proposed, a Saturday of the following year. Laura was attended by her two former roommates and our now eight-year-old daughter as flower girl. I had her brother Jon, who I’d become close with, and Keene by my side as Caleb escorted Dr. Laura Lockwood up the aisle to become Dr. Laura Payne in front of about one hundred witnesses.

When she flung the bouquet and it landed in Kalie’s hands, her cousin let out a feral snarl before she began to attack the bride with it. Laura, cackling, wrapped her arms around Kalie’s shoulder and whispered something in Kalie’s ear. Their heads immediately snapped in Grace’s direction, who had returned after the bouquet toss to continue her discussion about body parts with one of Laura’s ER residents.

Then in unison, their faces broke out in malicious smiles when they located a set of male eyes glaring at the back of the cool brunette. I shared with my wife and her cousin, “You both scare the crap out of me.”

Their “Good” made me laugh as I pulled Laura against me. And I laughed harder when Phil, with his husband Jason watching on amusedly, was the first to kick off the tradition of silverware tinkling on glasses. For once, we both were happy to comply with his shenanigans, as Laura called them.

Still, I was stunned when Laura and Bailey cackled at me few months later during the white elephant gift giving during Christmas. Holding up an object I’d swear in court a four-year-old made in art class, I roared, “We’re supposed to be on the same team.”

Hearing the giggling from both my girls as they said in unison, “No one is safe until Christmas is over!”

I can still only be grateful Laura still had some retribution left in her and targeted her father with a gift of a five-pronged candlestick holder made out of coquina shells, bamboo, and brass. Cassidy held up her hands and accepted defeat gracefully. “Laura, that is truly atrocious.”

“I know, Mama. I’ve been saving it.”

“Christ, Cass. Where are we supposed to put it?”

“That, my dear husband, is up to you.” Cassidy shoved the shelled disc holding the sticks back into Caleb’s chest. Then she gave me a warning. “Liam, we’ll be out for retribution next year. Watch out.”

I drop by HomeGoods on a regular basis now—just to keep an eye out for things that might help our cause.

Well before any of that, Laura and I concluded we should have a few sessions with Alice so we never got back to where one of us was trying to talk and the other refused to listen. Together and apart, we’d sustained the blows of some harsh realities we needed to be able to navigate. Our past wasn’t going to disappear, and we needed to be able to dissipate shadows that appear throughout the years—which, inevitably they do.

But the idea was to be able to discuss them and not sweep them under the rug, so the dust is so insurmountable you can’t get over it to the person you love.

Not only did we talk about the criminal aspects of what we’d both endured, dating back to Ashleigh through to the Tiberis, we talked about parenting strategies. We talked about how many children we wanted. We talked about boundaries and that’s where I laid down the law about a few things because, Christ. My future wife was due to inherit how much money? I thought all of that was just rumors. And put my inheritance to shame.

Laura just shook her head woefully. I’m certain I looked at all my future in-laws differently for a few days after that session.

Fortunately, we quickly realized not only were Laura and I copasetic in so many ways on a personal level, but we harmonized on the important ones that could cause friction years down the road.

As we made our way to the car one afternoon, I remarked, “Now, I know why so many people advocate pre-marital counseling.”

She agreed with my assessment. “It’s to open up lines of communication. Our hospital recommends it because of the amount of stress we’re under doing what we do.”

Now, when we really need to have the other person listen in the hectic jumble that’s our lives, we schedule time to listen. It’s our chance to let one or both of us vent so the other can clarify, reflect, and show we’re listening by asking questions or summarizing the other’s concerns. We do this out of Bailey’s earshot. I expect we’ll do it soon with our baby’s monitor gripped in one of our hands, half asleep. Okay, so the question and summarizing part might take a bit longer. My lips quirk when I reminded Laura recently that sleep deprivation is a perfectly understandable reason for one spouse to not get it right away.

She rolled her eyes and said our sex life causes sleep deprivation and I can’t use it as an excuse. I roared with laughter before kissing her senseless.

That being said, just because we work to ensure there are more days where our home is filled with sunshine and laughter than clouds and tears, doesn’t mean there aren’t any. Laura loses patients. I have days at the office where I want to strangle my bosses—her father and uncle. Bailey has residual pain we need to cope with. Ever after isn’t perfect, but it’s ours.

Knowing I’ll spend it with Laura makes me feel like I’ll never stop falling in love.

One night, lying in bed, my hand resting over the bump of our unborn child, I shared that with her. Her smile beamed at me. With her already straddling my lap, she leaned down and pressed her lips against mine. “That’s how I feel every time I wake up with your arm around me.”

A grin breaks out across my face just as Caleb saunters into my office—his own face relaxed and happy. “Did you get the picture of my girls?”

My brow wings upward while my thumb twirls my wedding band around. It catches the overhead light, but no matter how much it shines it doesn’t compare to the light Laura’s brought to my life. “Your girls? Caleb, wrong determiner. Laura and Bailey are mine.”

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