Page 139 of Free to Fall

Liam,

Are you serious about a second chance or is this your opportunity to punish me forever? You said you want me to be happy, but how is that supposed to happen when what I want isn’t but a few minutes away?

I listened to your sessions with Alice. What you went through—the fear and adrenaline pulsating through you, the similarities between incidents, Ashleigh’s lies and my withholding information. I get it now. Now, I’m crying all over again.

I texted you today to thank you—I never expected to do that after everything that happened. Your generosity almost makes me want to see you, but not yet. Still, I feel your worry, not just about Bailey. I want to let you know I’ll be okay.

Someday.

Texting you doesn’t mean I’m ready to welcome you back into my life, but it means I appreciate your gift to the people who meant the most to me. That is until I met you and Bailey.

When you texted back, I wanted to leap for joy, cry in a corner, and hurl my phone into a wall. Instead, I walked over to the cubicle where we ended. I faced my fears because you handed me the key to doing so the night I saw you at Tide Pool.

The memory of what you screamed at me still lingers, but slowly, it’s being replaced by new ones—other patients I’m able to heal. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be yours, or you mine.

Maybe we were meant to fall to know we could?

I don’t know.

What I know is I can’t push you out of my mind.

Wise people have shared that if I want to forgive, to move forward, I need to see beyond the landscape of pain. I’m working on that. I just don’t know where it’s going to lead me.

I’m adding this last part today before I leave this with you. It’s only right after all this time. Celebrate, Liam. Every milestone, every tear. Make certain Bailey knows she’s the most important person in your life. Make sure she knows you loved her first and always will. It’s what my father always said to me.

She loves you eternally.

Take care. Be happy, no matter what it takes.

Love,

Laura

PS - I told Bailey the cupcakes, balloons, and flowers were from you so she doesn’t get confused.

I shift the papers away so my tears don’t drip on her outpouring of emotion that all stems from one feeling—love.

Chapter

Seventy-Five

It’s a few weeks later when my eyes finally get to feast on the woman I love after her cupcake delivery to my house. Bailey’s dragging me forward into Bodega Taco Bar after she caught a glimpse of Laura. “Daddy, come on!”

“Bailey, I don’t want to bother Laura.” Okay, that’s a damn lie. I do, but I promised to give her some space. I’ve sent her gifts Jon recommended, and a few I came up with on my own.

A framed picture from Bailey where I included a note.

Someone drew this especially for you. She wanted to hand this to you in person. You are missed every single day, Laura. You, just for being you.

A travel coffee mug with a picture of the three of us emblazoned on the side of it.

This is where you belong—with us. By our side. I’m so sorry about what my selfishness did. Please forgive me.

Sheets of return address stickers with her name and my address, reminding her of where her home truly is.

Home is where your heart is. You left yours here. Come back, claim it. Please.

After each one, I get the same text.

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