Page 9 of Return By Fire

Jennings and Kara fell in love and then fell apart.

Then there was me—the oldest, the confidant, the big brother—very much alone except for the occasional hookup with someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t have the balls to come out and admit what I’d accepted long ago.

That I was gay.

I accepted my sexuality right around the time boy bands became popular. As I continue sipping my whiskey, I grin into my glass. “Maris is lucky I didn’t rip her hair out.” As I recall, there was a time we fought pretty damn hard over who got to hang the Backstreet Boys poster in their bedroom.

Our father simply shouted from the family room. “Keep the fighting to a minimum. I don’t care who hangs the damn poster! I’m trying to watch a special on fermenting.” Whereas our mother would threaten to withhold our favorite dinner after telling us to “Get your acts together. Share.”

After our parents passed away, Maris and I were completely intoxicated. I drawled, “It’s a good thing Mom didn’t go to some of the clubs I’ve been to, or she might not have put it like that.”

Maris, who had just put away another dose of tequila, grinned. “You’re going to have to expound on those little experiences with me.”

“Nothing little about them,” I drawled.

We both laughed amid the worst misery of our lives—not having any more blood relatives in the world. “Yeah, with a last name like Smith, I’m sure half of America’s related to me somehow, but they’re not ours.” My fist pounds the little table holding my whiskey, causing it to splash along the side.

It’s why I can’t fathom the reasons Kara has for keeping this secret for so long from Jennings.

In lieu of blood family, I’ve acquired a cadre of brothers.

“I will do anything for them.” I take a sip of the whiskey at my side and let the burn slide down my throat. “Okay, Jed. Enough dawdling. Time to make the call.”

I pick up my cell phone and dial a number Maris shared with me only since I bought my boat. It rings once, twice. Then, “Hello?”

“Kara, it’s Maris’s brother.”

“Jed? How did you get this number?”

“Maris gave it to me.”

“Oh my god! Is she okay?”

My heart melts over the closeness of her bond with my sister, that her immediate reaction is to love and protect. “Everything’s fine.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t have it before,” she says with humor in her tone.

“I should have.” Damn it, I should have. Maybe if I did and kept in touch with the women I cared for that long ago summer as much as the guys, this mess wouldn’t be yawning with its mouth open ready to swallow us whole. “I didn’t though. But anyway, I’m in town.”

“Juneau?” She misunderstands. I’d swear deliberately because Kara Malone is brilliant.

“St. Augustine? Isn’t that near where you live?”

Her voice squads. “St. Augustine? I mean, yes, I live one town over in Ponte Vedra. But you’re here? Now? Why?”

“Instead of renting one, I finally committed. I bought a boat. I have it docked here.” It’s the truth, and it’s the easiest answer.

Her voice lightens. “Oh, Jed. That’s wonderful! I’d love to see it and you.”

“How about lunch tomorrow?” I throw the offer out there, hoping it might trip her up.

Instead, she says, “Summer school classes are done by eleven, so I can meet you around noon?” She names a restaurant I commit to memory. “Great seafood and a bar you’ll love.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you then. We have a lot to catch up on.”

She laughs. “Jed, we’re likely to spend lunch reminiscing about the past.”

With that, Kara disconnects the call, and I ponder her words. Dropping the phone to the side, I murmur, “Yeah, Kara. We’ll be dredging up the past too.”

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