Page 39 of Return By Fire

Her lips tip upward and her eyes twinkle with suppressed mirth. She drawls, “I just bet.”

Fortunately, our server arrives with our sweet tea, saving me from responding. I frown when he only puts down two glasses, promising to return with our food shortly. “Where’s Kevin?”

“At Brooks’s.’”

“When I didn’t see him, I thought he might be in the bathroom or something. It’s not like him to miss E-Street.”

Kara shakes her head back and forth. “I didn’t think it was appropriate for him to be here for this conversation.”

All my internal alarms go on high alert. “What conversation?” I take a large drink of tea.

I shouldn’t have because I promptly choke when she says, “The one where you come clean to me about your feelings for Jed. You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

I can’t respond, likely because I can’t breathe. As I try to ingest oxygen back into my lungs, Kara’s lips quirk upward at how my mental discomfort has manifested into physical symptoms. She leans over and whales on my back like she’s burping a grown adult. After about eight or ten swats, I finally shout, “I’m fine. You can stop hitting me!”

“Must I?” That’s when I realize for the first time how hurt Kara is that I haven’t opened up before now.

I reach over and take her hand. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I don’t want you apologizing for finding love, that’s for damn certain,” she snaps.

I cross my legs at the ankles. “No, I won’t apologize for finding Jed.” Is this what love feels like? A rush of unguarded emotions that hit every time he’s near? Something I crave when he isn’t?

I don’t realize I’ve vocalized my thoughts until Kara gives me my answer in a way that I know costs her. “That’s how it felt for me with Jennings.” She reaches for a paper napkin from the dispenser and shreds it into tiny pieces.

I let her words settle around me much like I do when I shrug on my turnout coat before jumping into the truck. The weight of it feels right. Secure. “It is, at least for me. But it’s quick, so I have no idea how he feels.”

“Also familiar.”

“Kara...,” I begin.

She stops making confetti and asks me, “Is the reason you haven’t said anything about Jed because of Kevin?”

I won’t lie to my sister. Ever. “In part.”

She reaches for another napkin to decimate. “I presume Jed still wants to meet Kevin?”

“Understatement.”

“He’s spoken with you about it?”

“He’s shocked by the information you gave to him.”

Kara snorts. “He should remember me better.”

“Cut him some slack, Kara. You’re talking about one of his closest friends.”

“I used to be considered one of his sisters,” she counters.

“You dropped a couple of bombs in his lap and expected him to juggle them on your timeline,” I snap.

She stills, and I immediately regret my tone. “I’m...” But before I can get the word “Sorry” out, she shakes her head to clear her thoughts. Then she thoroughly shocks me.

“Do you think he’d want to come to dinner this week?”

My jaw unhinges. “Are you serious right now?”

“Right. That was stupid to ask.” She lifts her eyes to meet mine, and they’re wet with tears. “I won’t hold him to any vow, Dean. The choice of what to say—or not—is Jed’s. All I demand is the right of advance notice. I deserve the right to prepare my son if his world is about to be upended.”

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