Page 28 of Return By Fire

I swallow repeatedly, trying to explain this connection. When I feel I can, I say, “I remember the first time Dad took me sailing.”

I finger the gold chain and cross I wear—passed from my grandfather to my father to me. “There was a storm off the coast, and I asked Dad if we could sail toward it.”

Her face softens when I mention the memory. “I remember. Mom thought you were insane, Dad understood. He said your heart was born to chase the end of the world.”

“That’s almost exactly what he said.”

“It’s why I never begrudged you leaving every winter. You need to go.” I watch as she curls up under a blanket. Even in the middle of the afternoon, it’s pitch black in Alaska.

Meanwhile, the sun isn’t the only thing sparking fire through my blood here. I swallow hard before admitting, “Is it possible to know in a moment?”

For a second, I wonder if the Internet has frozen by the stillness of her features. Then she nods before admitting, “I did.”

“Bastard.” The word flies out of me.

“You love him and hate him—the same way I do.” She shrugs.

“You need to get over him,” I declare loyally.

“Would you be able to ‘get over’ Dean Malone if he stomped all over your feelings right now?” she challenges.

This is why I’ll love my sister with my whole heart until my dying breath. Even as our conversation circles her past pain, she’s strong because she loves me that much.

Always.

She hesitates before coming as close to breaking whatever sacred blood pact she and Kara made on a mountain goat. “Just... be more careful with your heart than I was, Jed. There are things you don’t know.”

“Such as?” I prompt.

She presses her lips together and shakes her head.

But I know. I look away so I don’t admit the truth. “Sorry, Little Mari Sunshine. I don’t mean to pry.”

Her bubbling laughter causes me to whip my head in her direction. Her eyes are sparkling. “Of course you do. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t pry into everyone’s business, Jed.”

“There’s a compliment in there somewhere. I think.”

“I’ll let you noodle on that,” she volleys.

Deciding to steer us into different waters, I snap my fingers. “Oh, snap. That reminds me.”

“What?”

“Fireman pants feel F-I-N-E when dragging your nails up them.” I wink at her. “Keep that in mind, baby sister.”

She faux gags. “I’m going to be sick. That’s Dean you’re crushing on.”

“So?”

“So, he’s like a brother from a bitch ass mother!” she shouts.

“Not to me,” I inform her loftily before toasting her with my drink and taking a slug.

That’s when I hear from behind me, “That’s good to know because, after that kiss, you’d better not be thinking of me like a sibling.”

I give myself credit—I avoid spewing on my electronics. Maris is delighted in my horror. She shouts, “Hey, Dean!” so loud it must be heard by the people in the next slip.

He comes up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, Maris.”

---