Page 180 of Perfect Pitch

“Order up ten units of platelets and get her ready for transport into the OR.”

“I’m not losing her!”

“What about the baby?”

* * *

My lashes flutter.

What an awful nightmare.

Then I hear a treacherous reminder it isn’t a nightmare but my reality.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Slowly, my gaze flits frantically around the curtained-off area before I call out weakly, “Hello? Is anyone there?”

My hands scrub the sheets for the call button I’m certain should be next to me, but I can’t find it. I can’t find anyone.

Where’s Fallon? Where’s Charlie?

My accelerated heart rate alerts someone that I’m awake. A stranger with a green hat and a somber expression slides open the curtain. “Ms. Kensington?”

I lick my dry lips before managing a weak, “Yes?”

He reaches for the tray beside my bed and grabs a packet. Unwrapping it, he uses it to moisten my lips and then asks me to open up. I scrunch my nose. His explanation makes sense. “It’s the anesthetic we use.”

“I had... surgery?”

He nods before pulling up a chair. “I’m Dr. Bowles. I’m head of obstetrics here at Seven Virtues General Hospital.”

“My baby?” I scratch out.

His head turns to the side. His chest rises and falls. “There was too much trauma. The placenta detached, and you were losing too much blood. I had a choice of her or both of you.”

My heart withers away inside my chest. “It was a girl?”

He winces at his lack of tact. “I’m sorry. You didn’t know.”

My eyes close and hot tears seep out from beneath the lids. “Please go.”

“Ms. Kensington,” he begins.

“Not now. Just... go.” I lift my hand and point to the end of my cubicle.

He stands and places the chair back where it originally was. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

I can’t speak. I can hardly breathe. I hear Dr. Bowles order Dilaudid for my pain, and I hope they stab it right through my heart. Maybe that will kill me.

Maybe the suffering will end.

* * *

“Ms. Kensington, are you hungry?” a soft voice to my left asks the next morning.

I shake my head. How can I be?

A gentle hand touches my shoulder. “How about I just leave your tray here? If you get hungry, you can nibble on something.”

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