Page 129 of Again, In Autumn

We were together for such a short amount of time, but he knew me. Understood me. Anticipated what I’d need, what he needed to do, and stepped in to support me when my self-consciousness let me down.

A breathy, gasp of a groan escapes from my lips alongside a rogue tear.

“Someone’s going to hear,” he laughs.

“Adam – Adam – I need you inside. Now. Please.” From beyond my clenching stomach, he gives me a curious gaze, mouth wet and nose pink.

“You okay?”

I wipe away my tear and nod, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. And I’m ready. Please.”

He releases my legs and ducks down to the ground before appearing with a small box. He shakes it. “Good thing I found the box of condoms I bought fourteen years ago.”

My eyes go wide. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Yes.” He snorts. “Well, I did find them. But they’re not these.”

As he dips into the box, I ask, “You travel with a stack of condoms? Just in case there’s some girl who needs railing?”

He probably doesn’t go a week without sex. He probably has women all over the country that he can call whenever he’s in their town for a show.

Adam stares at me, holding a square of foil. “Vienna –”

“I wasn’t – I was just making a joke.”

He’s not stupid. Adam can see my face which is probably broadcasting my ridiculous thoughts. Because it’s okay for Adam to bang whoever he wants. It’s not like I think he’s stayed celibate for fourteen years, pining after me, it’s just that knowing he’s been with other women reminds me that he doesn’t belong to me. He’s not just an idea anymore. This isn’t a memory I’m looking at, it’s a fully grown man with a past, a present and a future, one that includes having sex with and feelings for other women.

Adam slides the condom on and climbs back on the bed.

“Vienna,” he repeats, framing my face with his hands. “For the record, I haven’t been with anyone for a while. My manager puts the box in my suitcase as a running joke.”

“Joke?” I ask.

He caresses my cheek. “Yeah. Just in case I meet my soulmate somewhere. I’m suddenly not into random fucking anymore. It’s like I need to feel something.”

“Oh, gross,” I tease.

He makes a face. “I know right.” Then, he presses his lips to my mouth, and his tongue sneaks out, swiping along mine. The tip of him edges toward my entrance.

Adam pulls back to say, “I did pack those condoms for you, though. Just in case. I wanted this to happen, if you wanted it.”

My fingernails drag along his arm. “When did you buy some that summer?”

He frowns. “When did I – oh.” Head tilting, he answers, “That day at the grocery store.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I had them in the basket before I saw you.”

“But you let me look inside your bag,” I say. “I saw what you bought. I would have died of mortification if I saw that you had bought condoms.”

He brushes his nose against my nose. “I know you would have. That’s why I stuck them in my pocket right away. I was afraid the bag would open up and they’d go rolling down the parking lot and I’d scare you off.”

I laugh, and he kisses me.

Reaching between us, I grab his length and press the head to my nerves, running it through my wetness. It feels so good to be connected to him like this without the nervousness and newness that marked our first time.

Adam drops his forehead to my collarbone. “Fuck,” he mutters.

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