Page 127 of Again, In Autumn

After our summer together, I never cared for making out. No one else could make me feel like I was melting, and the act was so perfunctory that I’d end up end spending the whole time thinking, huh. Kissing is weird.

Mouth on mouth. Like, why? It’s random. It’s not necessary for any basic need – nutritional value, hydration, procreation – and I’d just want to get to the good stuff. With Adam, everything is the good stuff.

He drops me to my feet. “Is this okay?” he asks, taking the robe off my shoulders. He snorts. “Wow, you really went for seduction with this get up.”

I glance down at my plaid flannel pajama set. “Seduction was not a part of the plan.”

“Really?” He smirks, bending to kiss me, the smile never leaving his mouth. “Because it was definitely on my agenda.”

My hands glide under his jacket, sliding it from his shoulders.

“Vee?” Adam presses his nose to mine. “You’ve got a look. We don’t have to do anything, we can just –”

“No,” I say quickly. My fingers fiddle with the buttons of his shirt. “It’s not that.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Then why the face?”

“It’s just hard for me to…to see myself through your eyes. To imagine that you thought of being with me. That you want me.”

“Oh, Vienna.” Adam takes my right hand. His grip is tight, warming, and he moves my collapsed fingers down until they meet the bulge in his pants. He exhales, ragged, when I curve my fingers around it. “I want you. Badly.” Then, he moves my hand again, this time to his heart. “But I want you here more.”

His other hand lands atop mine. Our fingers slide together. He says, “I can’t convince you of how much I love you. Or how wonderful you are. But, just, let me show you. Let me help you get out of that beautiful head for a couple of hours.”

“Hours!?” My head snaps up to meet his eye.

He smiles. “Fuck yes. I want you all night.” Still, he doesn’t move. He’s waiting.

“Adam, please take my pajamas off,” I decide.

“And ruin this whole lady lumberjack thing you’ve got going on?” He’s about to unbutton the top when he realizes that he can just lift it over my head, it’s a few sizes too big. “Please tell me you did not buy a pair of men’s pajamas?”

“They’re comfy.” I fight the urge to cover myself when he’s freed my breasts. Fists form my side. My breath hitches.

Adam’s eyes darken before lifting to my face. Lowly, he says, “If I had it my way, I’d take this so fucking slow.” He shucks off his shirt. “But I have a feeling that would make you uncomfortable.”

I nod quickly. Of course he would sense that about me.

“I’m not ready to be vulnerable,” I whisper.

“I know.” Adam hinges forward, pressing his lips to mine. His thumbs hook the waistband of my giant pajama bottoms, catching my underwear, and he yanks them both down quickly.

I gasp, “Adam!” Even more surprised when he does the exact same thing to himself. We’re both naked in this dark, giant, romantic room and a laugh ripples through my nose.

“Are you laughing at my dick?” He grins, palming my breast, running a thumb over the nipple.

“No!” I insist, breathing through his movements. Another little giggle falls out. A shockwave. “I’m just nervous, and I laugh when I get nervous.”

“You also talk too much.” He’s not mad about it though. He’s amused.

I’m so relieved when he dips down and runs his tongue across my nipple, palming my other breast forcefully. He’s not being delicate or tender or giving me a second to feel uncomfortable or let my thoughts run wild, he’s putting me on sensory overload. His mouth is hard, biting, sucking my neck when his hand reaches down and cups between my legs.

I suck in air, balancing on my toes.

“Thank you,” I mutter into his bare shoulder, my arms wrapped around his neck.

“For what?” His mouth takes my earlobe. His fingers rake along the lips of my sex.

“For knowing what I need.”

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