Page 95 of Again, In Autumn

Francesca jokes, “My sibling, too. She’s wildly adventurous and unpredictable.”

Adam’s feet hit the dock and he front flips into the glassy water, the moon shining down on the ripples he made.

“I can be unpredictable,” I say absently, watching him come back up to the surface. The cold water would feel good against my burning hot skin.

Francesca snorts, “Sure. As in, ‘You’ll never guess what flavor of cookies I’m baking today?’”

“No,” I argue, “as in, you don’t know everything about me.”

“I do know you, Vee, you’re the most predictable person in my life.”

Hearing her smug voice, something inside me snaps. I say, “Predictable or dependable?”

She drags her eyes across my face, stuck in a half smile, assessing my tone. “I don’t depend on you.”

“Seriously?”

“What could I possibly need you for?” She glances around for support. “You’re the one who offers to help out. I’m a grown married woman with two kids and a job.” She holds ups her hands and scoffs, “I think I’m doing fine on my own.”

The other adults on the yard look away, uncomfortable. At least they can see her statements for what they are.

Disparaging.

But the look on David’s face, I know he’s thinking of the same word I am: inaccurate.

How can an adult woman lack so much self-awareness?

I bite back the urge to unleash on Francesca. I have a lot of pent-up tension inside.

I listen to Adam splashing in the water.

“What are you doing?” Francesca shouts at my back.

I started running for the lake before my brain made the decision. I just…wanted to. I need to surprise her and myself. I need to pour cold water over my head and imagine myself as a new person, someone who isn’t burdened by the past or her manipulative sister. I don’t want to be the woman who overthinks everything. A big part of me loved how I felt in Adam’s arms just now. It reminded me of being eighteen.

That girl would have jumped in the lake.

Catching Adam’s position, I drive off the dock and slip into the water to the left of him.

It’s really, really, really cold.

“Fuck!” I scream, head above water. “Shit, shit, fuck that’s cold!”

My arms move rapidly, and everything hurts. There’s food floating in the water around my head and dripping into my eyes. I inhale and exhale fast, then drunk my head once more, shaking it under water. I aim for the dock when I come to the surface, but Adam blocks the view.

“What are you doing?” he demands, half laughing.

Water dribbles from my lips. “I’m not boring,” I decide.

He blinks. “I know.”

“And I really hate my sister sometimes.”

“I know that, too.”

I take a struggling, deep breath. “I just jumped in this lake. And I’m going to die in here.”

Adam wades toward me. “Your crowd of admirers will save you.”

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